Saten Twist Adventures: SEASON 4
by Howl of a Werewolf
Summary: Lets see how this goes..
1. Episode 1:

**I need to do smething other than GTA before I throw myself into writers block..**

 **This series is fondly remembered, so here's the newest season..**

* * *

Twilight Sparkle: I said no magic. You were supposed to do it by hoof so I could work in a friendship lesson.

Starlight Glimmer: Oh, I heard "set the table" and just kinda went for it.

Twilight Sparkle: Well, if you _hadn't_ used magic, you'd have heard me say, uh... this plate represents your head, this spoon is your heart, and the knives... are sharp! Always be careful with knives. [sigh] The metaphors make more sense when you're actually setting the table.

Starlight Glimmer: Should I... change it back?

Twilight Sparkle: I just want to make sure you're ready for this dinner. Princess Celestia will be joining us tomorrow night to see how the friendship lessons are going! Starlight Glimmer: If it's just you, me, and Princess Celestia, why are there _four_ seats?

Twilight Sparkle: Well, the whole point is for you to bring a new friend. That way, the princess will see for herself just how far you've come. _And_ how good a teacher you have.

Starlight Glimmer: Well, I can't choose. I like all your friends.. Oh, and the red one.

Saten Twist: Hello.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh. Your still here.

Saten Twist: You invited me.

Twilight Sparkle: Oh yeah.. Anyway, that's the best part! You have to make a new friend!

Starlight Glimmer: New friends? Hey, maybe I'll just force friendships by magically enslaving the entire population of Ponyville!

Twilight Sparkle: Starlight!

Starlight Glimmer: Kidding! [laughs nervously]

Saten Twist (creepily): She can enslave _me._

Twilight: (elbows him).


	2. Chapter 2

Starlight goes around town to try and make a new friend. Pinkie Pie introduces her to Mrs. Cake, but her attempt to impress with a magically whipped-up cake sends the wrong message. Applejack introduces Starlight to the laconic Big McIntosh, but her use of magic to make him more talkative angers Applejack. Rarity tries to help Starlight meet ponies by making her an elaborate dress, but it wouldn't be ready in time for Twilight's dinner the next evening. Rainbow Dashsuggests that Starlight meet Spitfire of the Wonderbolts, but Starlight doesn't know who the Wonderbolts are. She briefly gets along well with Fluttershy's animal friends, but she doesn't think they are what Twilight had in mind.

To get her mind off her growing stress, Starlight gets a spa treatment at the Ponyville Day Spa. There, she meets a pony who is also from out of town and burdened by a dark past, and she is happy to finally meet someone she can relate to.

* * *

At Twilight's house, Saten is seen smoking a joint.

Twilight Sparkle: Well.. Least you stopped drinking.

Saten Twist: (cough) One step at a time.

Suddenly Starlight runs in, cutely like usual.

Saten (startled, drops joint out the window): Crap.. Hope the cops don't find it.

Starlight Glimmer: Twilight, guess what! I made a new friend!

Twilight Sparkle: That's fantastic news!

Starlight Glimmer: She's great!

Twilight Sparkle: Great!

Saten Twist: Yeah. I guess.

Starlight Glimmer: She's powerful!

Twilight Sparkle: Powerful?

Starlight Glimmer: She's—

Trixie: Hello... princess!

Twilight Sparkle: Trixie?!

Saten: Yaaay! Your back!

Trixie Lulamoone: Yes, I've been at the spa. I've been stressed lately. Didn't want you to see me so stressed out.

Saten Twist: Like it would mat-

Starlight: Twilight knows you two?

Trixie:

We've had our differences. What matters is Twilight gave me a second chance, and I appreciate it..

Twilight Sparkle: So, um, what brings you to Ponyville?

Trixie: The _Grrrreat_ and _Powerful Trrrrixie_ has come to perform a new stage show of grand illusion! I am calling it "The Humble and Penitent Trixie's Equestrian Apology Tour"!

Saten Twist: You still do the 3rd person thing?

Trixie: Of coarse I do babe.

Twilight Sparkle: Starlight? A moment? Over here?

(Starlight and Saten follow Twilight).

Twilight: [hushed] I know I said make friends with _anypony_ , but, well, with Trixie's past, and your past, I'm not sure she's the bes-

Saten (offended) What are you trying to say about my girl!?

Twilight: Uhhh..

Saten: Show she got a little over confident last time. And.. Rude.. But give her a break!

Starlight Glimmer: Yeah, you did say _any_ pony, and I just assumed that you'd trust me to make my own friends the way Princess Celestia trusted _you_.

Twilight Sparkle: [sighs] You're right. I trust you. Just be back in time for the dinner.

Starlight Glimmer: Thanks, Twilight! You won't regret it!

Twilight Sparkle: I hope not. [sighs]

Trixie: This magic show's gonna be the greatest thing Ponyville's ever seen!

(they leave).

Twilight: (gulps).

Saten: (groans and lights new joint)

Twilight: I'm sorry fo-

Saten: Just drop it girl.


	3. Chapter 3

Twilight is seen pacing back and forth.

Twilight Sparkle: I'm trying Saten.I'm trying to be open minded.. But your girlfriend still isn't someone I trust.

Saten (puts drops in his bloodshot eyes from the weed): Well.. Just promise you won't interfer.. Now aren't we suppose to inviting your gang for dinner.

Twilight: Oh. Right.. Thanks for the reminder.

Saten: Hey, without the boes, I'm smarter than people think.

* * *

PONYVILLE:

Starlight and Trixie out in the open.

Cherry Berry and Goldengrape: [unintelligible whispering] ...did you see...?

[unintelligible whispering of varous ponies]

Trixie: Everyone always says they'll give you a second chance, but deep down, they never forget..

Starlight Glimmer: That's what I'm worried about.

Trixie: [sighs]

Starlight Glimmer: What is it?

Trixie: I heard what Twilight said about me, and she's right. I wasn't very nice.. Saten, Derpy, and Glaze rubbed off on me in _that_ way as well.. So I'd understand if you didn't want to be friends.

Starlight Glimmer: Are you kidding?! You're the first pony I've met who has any idea how I feel! Except Saten, _(playfully)_ but I don't really get what you see in him.

Trixie: I was bullied at school.. He stood up for me. I never forgot that.. Thought it meant something.. Turns out it didn't. He liked AppleJack.. But after I told him how I felt about him, he felt so guilty about hurting my feelings, that he dated me anyway.. Tuns out it worked for the best.

Starlight: Yeah..

Trixie: Want to help me unpack my wagon?

Starlight: Of coarse.


	4. Chapter 4

As Trixie shows Starlight to her wagon, Twilight appears to give Starlight friend alternatives, including Glaze, Vinyl, and Lemon Heart. Offended by Twilight's distrust and undue concern, Starlight says she wants to make friends on her own, and she storms off.

Twilight tries to chase her. But Saten Twist flies over, in one of his more serious moments, he expresses anger at her for trying to give Starlight alternatives to Trixie.

Tilight: Saten, please, this is seriou-

Saten: I mean it Twilight! If you upset her, I'l-

Twilight: But I just think tha-

Saten: Trixie has a lot of trouble fitting in. Your not making it any easier for her!

Twilight: I..

Saten: Just leave them alone! (flies off).

Twilight pauses there.

* * *

Starlight and Trixie discuss Trixie's upcoming show, and Trixie seeks to perform the "Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive", a dangerous magic trick previously only pulled off by pony magician Hoofdini. She is nervous about attempting the trick by herself, but Starlight offers to be her stage assistant, giving her more confidence. Unfortunately, Trixie's show falls on the same evening as Twilight's dinner party with Princess Celestia, leaving Starlight with a difficult choice.

* * *

At the Castle of Friendship, Celestia arrives for Twilight's dinner party, but Starlight Glimmer has yet to arrive. Twilight tries to pass off Glaze, Vinyl, and Lemon Heart as Starlight's new friends, but Celestia is unconvinced. Desperate to salvage the evening, Twilight goes looking for Starlight.

* * *

Twilight reaches Saten in his apartment room, Derpy sleeping in hers. Saten telling her to keep quite cause of this, saying she's a little hung over.

Twilight, quitely, but impatently, asks Saten where Trixie is. Eventually he gives in and tells her they are in backstage of what would later be Trixie's stage.

Saten: I thought I told yo-

Intrurrupting him, Twilight brings a reluntante Saten along.

* * *

Saten: I wonder if I should marry Tri-

Twilight: Not now Saten!

Saten: Whatever.

* * *

 **I'll probably have a lot of watching to do for more episodes.. Haven't watch this show for almost a year.. Had to rewatch the episode I'm doing here.. Well.. Actually I'm using the script on the wiki page, so I didn't actually watch it..**

 **I just lost interest in the show itself.. To anyone interested in the show cause they like this series.. I can't say it's much to be excited over.. The cute disigns can help if your feeling kinda down. But I wouldn't call it the _greatest_ show I ever seen.. It's alright. Meant for little kids after all.. The Saten Twist series has a older rating..**

 **But I do wish it was more well known outside Fanfictions.. I wonder how popular the SatenXTrixie thing would be..**


	5. Chapter 5

ONCE TWILGHT AND SATEN FIND THE NEW FRIENDS:

Twilight Sparkle: Ahem? You just decided to skip our dinner without telling me? Are you aware that, at this very moment, Princess Celestia is waiting for you at a table with exquisite silverware placement?!

Starlight Glimmer: Yes, but—

Twilight Sparkle: This is exactly why I didn't want you to make friends with Trixie.

Trixie: A- _ha!_ You still don't trust me! But guess what, _princess_? It doesn't matter if you want to give me a second chance or not. Starlight had to choose between you and me, and she chose me! Your pupil chose me, so _ha!_ I win!

Saten Twist: (in head) I wish she didn't say it that way.

Starlight Glimmer (hurt): You win? This was only to get back at Twilight!?

Trixie: Exactly! [beat] Wait! I mean, no! I got caught up in the moment. I like you. Beating Twilight is just a bonus. [gasps] Saying that didn't help, did it?

Starlight (in tears): I should've known. Nobody in Ponyville wanted to be my friend. Why would you? [runs off sobbing]

Trixie: Wait, it's not like that! I _am_ your friend. [groans]... (pauses)

Twilight (angrily): Well, you won. I hope you're happy!

Trixie: [sadly] Looks like the Great and Powerful Trixie is back to a solo show.

Saten: I'm sorry Trixie..

Trixie attempts to play it off, but it's clear she's really depressed, and she rudely kicks Twilight out. Even (more nicely) tells Saten to leave two. She wants to be alone.

* * *

Saten (sarcastic clapping): Oh bravo Twilight! Bravoooooo

Twlight (annoyed): Oh shut up Sat-

Saten (angrily): No YOU shut up, bitch!

Twilight: Excuse me!?

Saten: I TOLD YOU NOT TO HURT MY TRIXIE!

Twilight: It wasn't my fault.

Saten: YES IT WAS! I told you to leave them alone! But you were too god damn stubborn!.. Now the _other_ cute girl, is also upset!

Twilight: … I'll make it right.

Saten: YOU BETTER! (starts flying off)

Twilight: Where are you going?

Saten: I need to be alone for a bit! (leaves).


	6. Chapter 6

_FLASHBACK:_

 _Kid Saten steals a beer out of curiousity, while his parents are violently fighting in the background. More out of curiousity than anything he tries a sip just as Saten's father walks in, and sees Saten react negatively to the taste._

 _Saten's dad: HEY!_

 _Saten: Dad, I'm sorry, I-_

 _Saten dad: No.. If your gonna steal.. At least finish it._

 _Saten: But dad, I don't want t-_

 _Saten's dad: FINISH IT!_

 _Scared, Saten takes a bg drink. But he can't do it. He can't drink it._

 _Saten's dad: Pathetic. Can't even finish a beer!_

 _Saten: A -Are you punishing me for stealing?_

 _Saten's dad: I'm punishing you for being alive! You and your mother are pathetic!_

 _Saten (timedly): I know dad._

 _Saten's dad: Might as well get use to that drink.. Your just gonna be alcholic.. It's a curse to the family._

 _Saten (timedly): I know dad._

 _Saten's dad: Anyway.. I need to lay down.. Go do youur chores._

 _Saten: Yes dad.. (takes another sip)._

* * *

CURRENT DAY:

Bartender: Sir.. SIR!

Saten (having droaned out): Huh, what?

Bartender: I said, what would you like?

Saten: I... You know what.. I'll just have a water.

Bartender: If you insist (gives him a water).

Saten: (drinks from it, when Twilight runs in).

Twilight: Saten! We might still have hope.. We can rebuild Starlight and Trixie.

Saten: Hmm.. Maybe.. But WE weren't reponsible.. Only you.

Twilight: I... Okay, fair enough.. But I'm trying Saten.. Just wanted you to know I'm trying.

Saten: Well.. Good.. More than my dad ever did.

Twilight: What?

Saten: Nothing, forget I said anything.. Better hurry off.

Twilight: Will do.. (runs back out).

* * *

 **The flashback is based on BOJACK HORSEMAN.. A netflix show that's both funny and deeply depressing.. Never know which..**


	7. Chapter 7

Later, Trixie puts on her show as planned, but her delivery is flat and unenthusiastic as a result of her falling out with Starlight; regardless, she intends to go through with the Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive. On a nearby hill, Twilight and Saten (who's serprisingly serious this episode) approach the heartbroken Starlight and Twilight apologizes for trying to pick and choose her friends for her.

Saten: What about me?

Twilight: You?.. Oh right.. Sorry for not listening to you.

Starlight: But... what if Trixie really _was_ using me just to one-up you?

Saten: People change. Look at my mom.

Twilight: He's right.. I jumped to conclusions.. She picked her words wrong.

At the very climax of Trixie's magic trick, Starlight returns to make it a success, and the audience loudly cheers. As the two take a bow, Trixie introduces Starlight as her "great and powerful assistant and best friend".

* * *

Backstage, Trixie and Starlight reconcile with a hug. Twilight enters to apologize to Trixie for not trusting her and to commend her for her performance. Trixie humbly accepts Twilight's apology and praise, and she closes out her show with a fireworks display.

* * *

 **End of Episode one..**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thought I'd give a message.. I'm changing it to Saten hating his dad, not his mom.. Orginally he hated his mother.. But it's proven now that his father, Frank Twist, was WAY worse than his mother, Maddy Twist..**

 **Maddy was still emotionally distant at times, and was a mean drunk.. But she was still never as bad as Frank..**


	9. Episode 2

**This is retelling a South Park episode. Almost word to word. But I change some characters.. And some dialogue, particalary Saten's dialogue change from Stan's..**

 **This episode is just me trying to see how much dark content I could get away with..**

 **This is same sequence was used in a story I deleted..**

* * *

EPISODE 2:

* * *

Narrator: Way up in the mountains in a small little town, The Main Street was being decorated all up and down. People stood in long lines, sometimes waiting hours or more, Because Christmas needs to be bought in a store.  
But out in the forest, not too far away...

 _Nearby forest. Cute forest animals gather round and decorate a small pine tree._

Narrator: The little woodland critters were also preparing for their Christmas Day.

Woodland Critters: _It's almost time when the time is here,_ _The time that's only once a year._ _We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near._ _A Woodland Critter Christmas!_

Narrator: The little critters worked hard as they happily sang, And each one of them had a quite interesting name. There was Squirrely the squirrel, Rabbity the rabbit, Beavery the beaver, and Beary the bear. Porcupiney the porcupine, Skunky the skunk, Foxy the fox, and Deery the deer. Woodpeckery the woodpecker, Mousey the mouse, and Chickadee-y the chickadee, all made the forest their house.

 _(wow, real orginal XD)_

Narrator: And on that magical day, stumbling upon all of that, was our favorite red pony.

Saten (drinks light beer, already had 4 before it, crossing forest to get to Trixie's new house in ponyville): Still better than I use to drink... (sees them) What the hell?

Rabbity: Well, hello there. Welcome to our forest.

Skunky: How do you like our Christmas tree?

Saten: I.. I really don't care.

Beavery: Why, it's the most perfect tree in the forest! _[the other cheer]_

Saten (annoyed): I don't have time for thi-

Mousey: Oh no, I see a problem.

Deery: What is it, Mousey?

Mousey: Our Christmas tree doesn't have a star.

Critters: Awww.

Beary: We can't have a tree with no star on it.

Saten (annoyed): Can't I ever just cross the forest in peace.

Rabbity: What are we gonna do?

Squirrely: Now don't be down, y'all. Maybe our new friend can help us find a star.

Critters _[among other things]:_ Can you really? Oh would you please? Could you help us?

Stan: Fine I'll get your stupid star if it means you leaving me alone.

Critters: _[cheering]_ Yay!

* * *

Narrator: And so, using some paper and working with glee, the happy red Pegasus made a star for the tree. Smiling the whole time.

Saten: (not smiling) There, its done, can I go now?

Critters: Ohhhh!

Beary: It's the nicest star I ever saw.

Narrator: The little critters cheered and Beavery said with a smile...

Beavery (smiling): How would you like to sing and dance with us for a while?

Narrator: Saten Twist smiled and said...

Stan _[doesn't smile]_ Uh, no thanks, I'm gonna go. _[turns around, and walks off]_

Beavery: Goo- goodbye Twisty!

Critters: Goodbye, Saten! Bye! Cya!

Saten (to himself) (annoyed): Uhhh.

* * *

Saten finally arrives at Trixe's house.

Trixie: What took you?

Saten: I'll tell you later.. Diner ready?

Trixie: Sure..


	10. Chapter 10

THE NEXT MORNING:

Saten and Trixie assumably had sex sense this is a more mature seres than the real MLP, though it only shows the aftermath, Trixie's hair messy. Though she looks a little disappointed.

Saten: ... I'm really sorry.

Trixie: No, you were nervous. It's okay.

Saten: Lot on my mind.

Trixie: There were.. Parts.. I liked.

Saten: ... Good enough for me, I should use the bathroom.. (turns on lamp and sees the critters) AHHH!

Trixie (covers herself that much more): AHHH, WHAT!?

Saten (annoyed): Nothing, just those stupid critters again.

Narrator: His friends were all there! What a wonderful surprise! The little boy smiled with joy in his eyes!

Saten (annoyed): Guys! Get out my future wife is naked.. Well, she never wears clothes, but in the contant of this scene.. It's bad!

Trixie: ... Future wife.

Saten: Yeah, I see you being m-

Rabbity: That's a hot girl Saten.

Saten (annoyed): Just get out!

Squirrely: But you two aren't gonna believe what happened. It's the most magical Christmas gift ever!

Trixie (also annoyed): I agree, just get out.

Skunky: Porcupiney is pregnant!

Saten (annoyed): We don't care!

Mousey: I deduce the ponies don't understand the seriousness of the fertilization.

Deery: Porcupiney is a virgin love-birds. Her conception was immaculate.

Foxy: She's gonna give birth to our Lord and Savior.

Trixie (sighs): Not this crap.

Porcupiney: It has been foretold unto me that I would give birth on Christmas Day.

Mousey: So soon!

Skunky: How delightful!

Woodpeckery: Our souls are saved!

Chickadee-y: Finally the critters are gonna have a Savior of their very own, of their very own! _[they all cheer]_

Squirrely _[hops onto Trixie's bed]:_ There's just one problem: We don't have a manger for our Savior to be born in.

Saten: (annoyed facepalm)

Critters: Awwww.

Beary: But we got to have a manger.

Rabbity: Can you do it, Stan. Can you build us a manger? Huh?

Critters: (Cheers)

Narrator: "Of course we will build you a little manger!" Trixie cried, and she winked at the critters and leapt to their side!

Trixie (does none of that): ... Fine, if your leave us alone.

Saten: They won't, but screw it, we're up now. May as well do something.

* * *

 **Saten and Trixie are such a cute couple.. Even in a South Park retelling.. Just how they work off each other, they still have that friendship part..**


	11. Chapter 11

_The forest. Trixie has built the manger and is hammering the last few nails in place. Her hair white uncombed. It actually kinda pretty. In a unkempt kinda way. Saten stays in the back, smoking a jointas he's not needed. And feel "needs one"_

Narrator: And out in the woods the boy steamed right ahead, making a place for the critter babe to lay its sweet head.

Trixie: (to Saten) Any more of those?

Saten: You smoke?

Trixie: not til just now.

Saten: Good point (passes the joint to her and she uses it) May wanna take it slow. Your first time using it sense that hippy concert you went too.

Trixie: (coughs) Yeah.. Not my proudest memory.. (smokes more)

Rabbity: Gee whiz, if it isn't the nicest manger I ever saw.

Mousey: I deduce it shall serve as a perfectly suitable resting place, for the Son of our Lord.

Raccoony (tired): Does this mean we can go to sleep now?

Porcupiney: My son will have the nicest bed in all the forest.

Woodpeckery: Fit for a king!

Squirrely: This is going to be the best critter Christmas ever!

Woodland Critters: _It's almost time when the time is here,_

 _The time that's only once a year._  
 _We can hardly wait, 'cause it's so near -_

Saten: _[as they sing, pulling out new joint, Trixie keeps the other one and walks over to the critters]_ All right, we're going now. _[He ambles off. A roar is heard nearby. All stop and look. The critters scream.]_

Critters: The mountain lion! Hide! _[They scatter, leaving the ponies to face the lion alone. The lion peers out from behind a tree, Saten, by instinct, sheilds Trixie)._

Saten: Uhhh, Go away! Shoo! _[The lion moves off and the critters return.]_

Squirrely: Is it gone?

Saten: I think so.

Skunky _[behind a low tree]:_ I'm not c-c-comin' out.

Foxy: Well, this is the end. The mountain lion obviously knows Porcupiney is pregnant, and he's gonna kill it again.

Trixie (throws away joint): Again?

Squirrely: Every Christmas the mountain lion comes down and eats the virgin critter impregnated with the Son of our Lord.

Porcupiney: Oh dear, I'm so very afraid.

Beavery: _[climbs onto a stump and sits up]_ Let's face it. The mountain lion will never let our Savior be born.

Critters: Awwww! _[some of them sob]_

Squirrely: Hey, we shouldn't be upset this Christmas. We've got Saten!

Raccoony: Of course! Saten can do anything! If he can build a manger, he can stop that mean ol' mountain lion!

Narrator: Of coarse I will! Saten cried with joy.

Saten (dryly) No.. (starts leaving, throwing away joint)

Trixie: Saten wait.. What if Fluttershy finds out we let them die. We're never hear the end of it.

Saten: ... Fine.

Porcupiney: Christmas is saved! _[the critters cheer]_ _The camera looks up from the woods to a mountain in the distance. Dramatic music plays._

Trixie: (kisses his cheek) Come back to me alive.

Saten: In case I don't.. (kisses her on the lips for a whole minute, which is longer than you think)

Saten: (pulls away and reluntantely flies up to the mountain)

Trixie: ... (picks up his joint) I'm gonna need this.

Rabbity: He'll be fine.

Trixie: If he doesn't.. Your be safer with the lion than from me.


	12. Chapter 12

Narrator: High up in the forest on a dark, craggy peak, the horrid mountain lion and preyed on the weak. For the critters to be saved, someone had to stop that nasty old cat...

Saten (annoyed as he flies up to mountain): Goddammit, this is fucking ridiculous!

Narrator: Said the little red pony.

Saten (annoyed): Shut up.

Narrator: Killing a mountain lion was no easy task, But he thought of a plan, and he thought of it fast.

Saten (timidly infront of cave): G -Grrr! Grrr! Come on out! [The lion is heard roaring from inside the cave, and it roars. It approaches the entrance.] Come on, critter killer! Your days of slaughtering innocent little animals are over! Rawrrrrr! [Anticipating the lion's leap, he prepares his wings. The lion lunges at him, but Saten flies up in the air and out of the way, and the lion falls over the peak and onto its death below, at the cave entrance.]

Narrator: In a flash, it was over! A victorious blow! The mountain lion lay slain on the cold ground below.

Saten Twist flies down to check if it's really dead.

Saten: Huh, that wasn't so bad.

[three lion cubs approach the entrance]

Lion Cub 1: Mommy?

Saten: … Uh oh.

Lon cub 1: Mommy! [they rush up to her body] W... wake up, Mommy, wake up!

Lion Cub 2: Don't leave us, Mommy.

Saten: (stands there awkwardly as the cubs spot him) red pony, why?! Why did you kill our mommy? Why?

Saten: [at a loss for words] I.. They said.. I… Critter Christmas.

(the cubs cry around the corpse).

Narrator: The tiny cubs all gathered together and cried, All alone in the world because their mother had died.

Saten: [turns away and squeezes his eyes shut): Aw, god-DAMMIT!

* * *

 **Poor Saten.. He can't seem to get a win today..**


	13. Chapter 13

**WARNING: Disturbing chapter..**

* * *

The critters are still there. Trixie paces anxiously.

Porcupiney [feeling a kick]: Oooo.

Beary: You all right, Lady Porcupiney?

Porcupiney: Oh yes, just felt a little kick is all.

Beavery: Well, it's been much too long now. Uh I'm afraid our helpful friend Stanny must be very dead.

Fox: Yep, the mountain lion probably swallowed him whole.

Trixie (sarcastically): Way to comfort me.

Rabbity: I guess that means our Savior is gonna be made into Savior stew.

Trixie: Guess that means I gotta kill you (prepares horn)

Critters: Awwww.

Trixie: Shut up!

Chickadee-y: [flitting straight up into the air] Wait a minute, look! [the animals turn to see Saten approaching them, looking sad]

Trixie: (hugs him excitedly)

The critters gather in front of him.

Mousey: you're alive!

Beary: But, does that mean you killed the mountain lion?

Saten (quitely): Yeah.. She's dead.

Deery: For real and for true?!

Beavery: Are you sure?

Saten: I'm sure. It won't be hurting you anymore.

Squirrely: He did it! Now our Critter Christmas can finally happen! Hail Satan!

Critters: Hail Satan!

Saten: ... You mean me right?

Beavery: You've done us a huge favor, ponies! Without the mountain lion around, the Lady Porcupiney can give birth to the Antichrist!

Critters: Yaaay! [they head over to the manger]

Saten: Wai-wait, the Antichrist? You said she was giving birth to your savior!

Squirrely: Yeah, to the Son of our Lord, Satan, Prince of Darkness.

Saten: But we thought you meant the Son of God!

Deery: Well, think about it: You really think God would have sex with a porcupine?

Trixie: Sex wit- WHAT!?

Chickadee-y: No way! Only Satan, Prince of Darkness and King of all Evil would do that! Yay!

Saten: I knew this was a mistake.

Foxy: This just calls for a celebration! Let's sacrifice Rabbity and eat his flesh!

Saten: Wait what!?

Rabbity: Yay! Sacrifice me to the Devil!

The other critters cheer. As Beary pulls up a Satanic altar on a small wagon with a little help from Squirrely. The other animals bring Rabbity up to the altar. Rabbity is propped up on the altar and Beary tears him apart with a sacrificial blade.

Trixie: OH MY GOD!

The other animals crowd in, tear away pieces of the body, and eat them raw.

Chickadee-y: Drink his blood! Drink his blood!

Saten and Trixie are frozen in shock.

Squirrely: [jumps into a puddle of blood] Blood orgy!

Critters: Yay, blood orgy! Blood orgy, yay!

The critters drench themselves in Rabbity's blood and begin the orgy. Beavery mounts Raccoony, Skunky mounts Porcupiney, Mousey mounts foxy, and Beary mounts Deery. Squirrely hops onto Deery's left ear and mounts that. Chickadee-y and Woodpeckery start flitting around. In the background plays " _Lucifers Hymm_ _"_ during all this, starting from Rabbity's death.

Saten and Trixie stare at them, traumatized.


	14. Chapter 14

Narrator: In the gentle forest clearing on Christmas Eve morn, The little forest critters prepared for the Antichrist to be born. The noble mountain lion had stopped evil in all the years past, But now the good protector lay dead as the good owls amassed. And meanwhile, three lion cubs were crying away. For them, there would certainly be no Christmas Day.  
And all of this because of the little red pony, for killing a lion.

Saten is shown in his house, with his head buried into his arms at his desk in his room.

Saten: Uhhh.

Narrator: "I know!" Saten Twist said with a new happy grin, "I'll go back to the forest and speak with those critters again!"

Saten: [waves the narrator away and leaves his desk]

Narrator: He ran out the living room, turned out the light, and went back to the forest to set everything right!

Saten enters the living room, hops on the sofa, and turns on the TV.

TV: _In west Philadelphia, born and raised. On the playground, is where I spent most of my days._

Narrrator: (aham) And he went back to the forest to set everything right!

Angry look on his face, Saten turns the volume up to drown out the narrator.

Narrator: He tried to ignore the issue with TV, but his conscience caught up with him, and to the forest he did flee...

Saten: (turns it louder)

Narrator: He thought he could hide from his problems - not true! [Saten rolls his eyes] He knew in his heart the thing he had to do!

Saten (annoyedly): Leave me alone!

Narrator: He knew that only by going to the forest could he -

Saten: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!.. GOD! [He turns off the TV, hops off the sofa and walks out the door, leaving the remote control on the floor.]


	15. Chapter 15

_The woodland critters continue decorating their tree and also the manger Trixie made them._

Beavery: _[looks around]_ Hey, look everyone! It's our old pal, Twisty. _[the other critters turn and look, Saten flies over, Trixie behind him for backup._

Woodpeckery: Oh boy, buddy. You came just in time!

Deery: Yeah. We've got a big problem. We ne-

Saten (holding hammer): Shut up! We're not doing you anymore favors and I'm not letting you give birth to the Antichrist! _[walks off]_ I came here to put a stop to all this!

Beavery: To stop us?

Trixie: You heard him.

Beary: But gee whiz Saten, if you and your lady try to stop us, we'd have to use our evil Satanic powers on ya.

Saten: Right, whatever. _[turns around readying hammer]_ I'm taking down the manger Trixie built. _[Beary's eyes turn red and brighten. A wall of hellfire appears before Saten.]_ Ah! _[The wall gets higher.]_ AAAH! _[All the critters' eyes are flashing a bright red. Black crows swoop down and attack Stan.]_ AHH AHHHH! _[A two-headed demon dog appears snarling at him; he runs off in terror, hiding behind Trixie who doesn't seem mind]_

 _[The critters' eyes revert back to normal.]_

Beary: Oh boy! Our Satanic powers sure did the trick!

Chickadee-y: Our powers get stronger every day! Get stronger every day!

Squirrely (goes over to them): Sorry ponies, but you see, nothing can stop the birth of the Antichrist, except for a mountain lion.

Skunky: And you got rid of her.

Critters: Yay!


	16. Chapter 16

Fluttershy suddenly flies over, wearing a santa hat, cause it's christmas.

Beavery: Wow, look, it's that pegasus that kicked us out.

Raccoony: Let's eat his flesh!

Critters: Yaaay!

Fluttershy: What the hell is going on?

Trixie: It's Critter Christmas, girl! It sucks ass!

Fluttershy: What are you guys doing?

Raccoony: We finally did it, Fluttershy! We're about to bring forth the Antichrist with help from our new friends.

Skunky: Death and pain await all living things. Yay!

Fluttershy: Saten!

Saten: I'm sorry, they tricked us.. I... I tried to stop them!

Trixie: Well don't worry, I know only one way to stop devil-worshiping critters! _[She reaches back and whips out a sawed off pump-shotgun. She fires, and the top half of Beavery's head is gone.]_

Trixie: HOLLY SHIT!

Critters: Aaaaah! _[They scatter. Fluttershy fires again, and Deery goes down. Two more shots and the tops of Raccoony's and Skunky's heads come off.]_

Saten: Yeah! Go Fluttershy!

 _Squirrely activates his demon power with the red glow from his eyes and a wall of hellfire appears before Fluttershy._ _Trixie fires a spell killing Squirrely._

Saten: Nice one.

 _Fluttershy continues firing at the remaining critters. Porcupiney is blown apart, then Foxy._

Beary (tries playing cute) Gee whiz, Fluttershy, you're not gonna kill me, are yo- _[His head is blown off by her gun, and he goes down.]_


	17. Chapter 17

Fluttershy (throws down gun and back to normal cute self): There.. They're dead.. We saved Christmas.. We get a wish.. Anything you guys wanna wishful?

 _Saten [thinks]:_ Yeah.. There is.

* * *

 _The lions' cave. Some magic revives the mother lion._

Mother Lion: Wha - Oh my, what happened?

Cubs: Mommy! (they hug her)

Saten (watching with the girls) _[relieved]:_ Oh, good.


	18. Chapter 18

Trixie: Man.. This was fucked up Christmas..

Saten: Yeah.. But still beat thanksgiving with Derpy's crazy booyfriend.

* * *

Master Sword: I've been waiting for this all year.. (pulls out the turkey) Giving you people the bird.

Saten: Oh.. (hand goes to the turkey) Looks so go- AH! SHIT!

Sword: (stabbed the hand with large fork) Neh uh.. Not til we say grace.

* * *

 **END OF EPISODE 2:**

 **I like assuming Sword is a fan favorite. For his comedic insanity. Smilar to Trevor Phillips, but a lessor extent..**

 **But who knows. He probably isn't..**


	19. ONE SHOT:

**Mini one shot story.. Using a scrpt from youtube's DICK FIGURES:**

* * *

Saten and Sword arrive in Saten's hometown Fillydefia. By stagecoach.

Saten: Thanks for the drive Glaze.

Glaze Woodtoaster (driving stagecoach): Sure. (rides off)

Master Sword: Rrraaaagh, camp counselors?! This is gonna be the lamest job _ever_!

Saten Twist: Look, your the one saying we need a summer job.. Plus the money you owe me.

Master Sword: I owe you money?

* * *

 _(Whiteboard says:_

 _Sword owes Saten:_ _$11,271.33_

* * *

Master Sword: Oh.. Right..

* * *

 _(Time lapse. They arrive at Camp Redwood, from Saten's town Fillydefia)_

Saten Twist:: Huh, man, being back at camp is bringing back some good memories.

* * *

(Flashback _to Camp Redwood during their childhood. Saten is tied to a tree while an orange pony and pink pony hit him with sticks.)_

 _Young Saten: (crying) I wanna go home! (Continues crying)_

 _Young Reggie: (laughs) Quit cryin', ya little bitch! (Kicks a football at Saten's face.) HA!_

* * *

Saten Twist (wide eyed): Good, times.

* * *

 _(Time lapse. Saten holds a clipboard.)_

Saten Twist: All right, let's see what on the schedule: Fishing, bird-watching, wood-car- _(Sword slaps away the clipboard)_

Master Sword: We don't need rules! CAMP ANARCHY!

* * *

FISHING:

 _(Saten teaches his group how to cast a fishing rod line)_

 _(Sword orders a member of his side to use dynamite, and he makes the kid throw a bomb at the lake which kills the fish)_

Master Sword: Good job.

* * *

BIRD WATCHING:

 _(Saten and the kids uses binoculars to bird watch)_

 _(Sword continues teaching the kids to use dynamite, as he makes a boy throw a bomb at the bird.)_

* * *

 _(Nighttime in the tent, Saten tucks in a purple filly)._

Purple girl: Camp Counselor Saten, you're the best.

Saten: No, _your_ the best! Your all the best!.. Haha, goodnight.

* * *

 _(Indian music plays, Sword and the kids have black war stripes on their faces. He a loaded gun to a pink pony._

Sword: Tonight, you become a man.

Pink Pony: But I'm a girl.

Sword: A MAN!

 _(The girl whimpers.)_

 _Big foot appears._

Bigfoot: BIGFOOT! _(laughs evilly)_

 _(At the same time)_ Saten: Sasquatch?! Sword: Donkey Kong!

Bigfoot: Ya! Bigfoot yaaaaaa! _(Tries to get inside Saten's tent)_

Sword: Pfff, I got this _(Robotic voice)_ CAMPERS! ROLL OUT!

* * *

 _SHORTLY AFTER:_

 _(The kids are seen beating Bigfoot, who is tied to a tree. Saten comes in with a bat.)_

Saten ( _looking sympathetic, as he remembered his childhood)_ : I'm so sorry. Huh ahh! _(Cries while beating him with a bat)_ Huh, no! Ugh, I'm sorry!

Master Sword: _(happy sighs)_ Camp is great.

* * *

 **END OF SHORT:**


	20. EPISODE 3:

_2012:_

The main six have a picnic. Saten invited as despite not always getting along with them, he's ther friend. Espically to AppleJack, his ex girlfriend but still friend. And somewhat of a brother/sister relationship to Twilight. Though not as much as he later has with Starlight Glimmer.

Spike: Twi... light! ...I... have... Lemme just... [deep breath] [belch]

Twilight Sparkle (before alicord): _Dear Twilight, I am sure you are as excited as I am about the upcoming wedding in Canterlot._ [to the others] Wedding? [reading] _I will be presiding over the ceremony, but would very much like you and your friends to help with the preparations for this wonderful occasion. Fluttershy, I would like you and your songbird choir to provide the music._

Fluttershy: Oh my goodness! What an honor!

Saten: I guess _(drinks light beer)_

Twilight Sparkle: _Pinkie Pie, I can think of no one more qualified than you to host the reception._

Pinkie Pie: Hip, hip, hooray!

Twilight Sparkle: _Applejack, you will be in charge of the catering for the reception._

Applejack: Well, color me pleased as punch!

Saten: ... What?

Twilight Sparkle: _Rainbow Dash,_ _I would very much appreciate it if you could perform a sonic rainboom as the bride and groom complete their "I do"'s._

Rainbow Dash: _YES_!

Twilight Sparkle: _Rarity, you will be responsible for designing the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids._

Rarity: Princess Celestia wants me to– [unintelligible] ...wedding dress? For a Canterlot wedding... I, ah, ooh, oooh! [thump]

Twilight Sparkle: _And as for you, Twilight, you will be playing the most important role of all: Making sure that everything goes as planned. See you all very soon. Yours, Princess Celestia._ But... I don't understand. Who's getting married?

Spike: Oh, wait! Uh, I was probably supposed to give you this one first.

Twilight Sparkle: _Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and..._ [gasp] My brother?!

Applejack: Your brother's getting married? Congratulations, Twilight!

Saten (laughs): What an idiot! Love doesn't last! (AJ punches him) Well it doesn't.

Rarity: That's great news!

Twilight Sparkle: Yeah, _great_ news. That I just got from a _wedding invitation_! Not from my brother, but from a piece of paper! Thanks a lot, Shining Armor. I mean, really, he couldn't tell me personally? [poor Shining Armor imitation] Hey, Twilight, just thought you should know I'm making a really big decision that changes everything. Oh, never mind, you'll hear about it when you get the invitation. [normal] Princess _Mi Amore Cadenza_?! Who in the hoof is that?! [snort]

Fluttershy: Um, Twilight? Are you okay?

Saten: She's fine, just her time of of the month.

Saten (voice): (punch) AppleJack, stop!

Twilight Sparkle: Sorry, it's just that Shining Armor and I have always been so close. He's my B.B.B.F.F!

Everyone's confused.

Twilight Sparkle: Big Brother Best Friend Forever?

Rest of main cast: Ohhh!

Twilight Sparkle: Before I came here and learned the importance of friendship, Shining Armor was the only pony I ever really accepted as a friend.

* * *

 _(song):_

 _Twilight: When I was just a filly, I found it rather silly To see how many other ponies I could meet I had my books to read, didn't know that I would ever need Other ponies to make my life complete But there was one colt that I cared for I knew he would be there for me My big brother, best friend forever! Like two peas in a pod, we did everything together He taught me how to fly a kite (Best friend forever!) We never had a single fight (We did everything together!) We shared our hopes, we shared our dreams I miss him more than I realized It seems..._

 _[Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity] Your big brother, best friend forever Like two peas in a pod, you did everything together_

 _Twilight: And though he's, oh, so far away I hoped that he would stay My big brother best friend Forever... Forever..._

* * *

Saten: ... Derpy and I use to sing about salboats an-

Applejack: As one of your P.F.F.'s. Pony Friends Forever... I wanna tell you that I think your brother sounds like a real good guy.

Twilight Sparkle: He is pretty special. I mean, they don't let just anypony be captain of the Royal Guard.

Rarity: [chirp] So let me get this straight. We're helping out with the wedding of not only a princess, but a _captain of the Royal Guard?_

Twilight Sparkle: I guess we are.

Rarity: WHOO-HOO!

Rest of main cast: [excited chattering]

Saten: (shrugs and leaves).

Twilight: Wait.. You two Saten.. I'll need you to help me. And anyone else who may need it.

Saten: But you hate me.

Twilight: I don't hate you. we just like to tease you, cause your the only _male_ in our core group have, besides Spike.. Your like an annoying little brother more than anything.

Saten: Annoying? At times.. But no way, I hate wedding, nothing will make m- _(Twilght gives him friendly kiss on the cheek)_ ... I'll start packing.


	21. Chapter 21

On the train ride to Canterlot, everyone except Twilight, and an annoyed Saten who still dislkes wedding, happily discusses the wedding, and only Applejack notices Twilight's glumness.

When asked, Twilight says that she is still thinking about Shining Armor's neglect of her, though Applejack tells her not to worry.

* * *

At Canterlot, it is evident that there has been an increase in security: the train passes through a pink protective sphere encasing the city, there are many guards at the station, and Princess Celestia keeps watch with the aid of a telescope from the balcony of the highest tower. Shining Armor is happy to see his sister and affectionately calls her "Twily."

Twilight immediately berates him for not telling her about the wedding, but Shining Armor explains that he had no choice and Princess Celestia wanted an increase in security in response to an exterior threat. Twilight concedes but remains hurt. Shining Armor reassures her that she has always been, and always will be, important to him, and asks her to be his Best Mare.

Shining Armor explains that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is the full name of Cadance, Twilight's former babysitter. Twilight almost instantly cheers up, she always adored Cadence.

However, Twilight sees Cadance acting out of character, and rudely brushes Twilight off. Shining Armor announces that Cadance will be monitoring the wedding planning. When he says that they are happy to have Twilight there, Cadance smiles at Twilight malevolently. Twilight finds this suspicious, but Saten says that the only thing _suspicious_ is the lack of beer.

* * *

Twilight begins overseeing the wedding preparations, starting in a castle kitchen Applejack has been provided. When Cadance shows up to check the catering, Applejack offers her an apple fritter, which Cadance insincerely calls "delicious." Applejack gives Cadance a bag of fritters in case she forgets to stop for a meal, but when Applejack turns around, Cadance tosses the fritters into the trash.

* * *

Cadance's visits Rarity, who is working in the tower room she stayed at in Sweet and Elite. Twilight begins to describe Cadance's temperamental behavior, but Cadance arrives with her bridesmaids, (Lyra Heartstrings, Minuette, and Twinkleshine). Cadance ignores Rarity's greeting and appraises her dress. She says that she was hoping for more beading and a longer train, and turns her attention to the bridesmaids' dresses. Displeased, she demands that Rarity make them in a different color, despite the fact that her bridesmaids love their dresses. Rarity is more than happy to comply with the royal demands, but Twilight calls Cadance "Princess Demandypants" when Cadance is out of earshot.

* * *

After nightfall, Cadance meets Pinkie Pie inside the castle ballroom. Pinkie presents her flamboyant reception plans, which include a board game, carnival music, and dancing. Cadance compares the setup to a "party for a six-year old," although Pinkie Pie is oblivious to the insult.

* * *

Even to Saten, she she is overly rude to him, when he simply asks where the bathroom is.

But Saten, being Saten. Finds this _hot._

* * *

 **Might as well get this reveal out of the way..**

 **That's not the real Cadence..**

 **Not sure what Chrysalis has to gain by acting like a spoiled bitch all the time.. I mean, your impersonating one of the nicest characters ever.. So maybe you should try being a little more _in character_ when your at least in public.. **


	22. Chapter 22

Everyone is praticing the wedding.

Princess Celestia: Perfect, girls. No need to rush. Then of course, Cadance will enter.

Princess Celestia: I'll say a few words, and then we'll begin with the vows. Shining Armor, you'll get the ring from your best mare.

Spike: [deep voice] Do you? [high voice] I do!

Shining Armor: Hey... has anyone seen Twilight?

[doors open]

Twilight Sparkle (angrily): I'm here! I'm _not_ gonna stand next to her! And neither should you!

Shining Armor: I'm sorry, I... I don't know why she's acting like this.

Saten Twist: Maybe her period.

Derpy (her and Glaze were invited. Trixie two, but was busy, both of them next to him): Seriously, that's not funny anymore dude.

Saten Twist: Says you.

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: (iratated) Maybe we should just ignore her.

Twilight Sparkle: You have to listen to me!

Fluttershy: Oh, goodness! Are you okay?

Twilight Sparkle: I'm fine.

Saten Twist: You sure about that?

Twilight Sparkle: I've got something to say! She's _evil_!

(everyone gasps, even Saten Twist has no comment).

Glaze: Evil?!

Twilight Sparkle: She's been horrible to my friends, she's obviously done something to her bridesmaids, and if that wasn't enough, I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all [bells jangling]!

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: [fake crying] Why are you doing this to me?! _(runs off, poor acting, honestly serprised people bye it, but.. Kids show)._

Twilight Sparkle: Because you're evil! And if I don't stop you, you're gonna ruin my brother's life!

Unfortantely nobody believes Twilght. And they all leave her. Though Saten Derpy and Glaze are the only ones to feel bad for Twilight. But give her alone time. Shining Armor saying it was something to do with migrains. Which is untrue. But sure. Okay.. Whatever.

Anyway, Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis later goes over, seemingly to comfort to Twilight.

Twilight Sparkle (tearfully): I'm sorry!

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis (smirks): You _will_ be. _(summons a ring of green fire, which engulfs Twilight in a sphere of energy. Cadance walks out of the room as the sphere and Twilight sink into the ground)._

* * *

 **To anyone who don't know? Glaze isn't mine? She belongs to the youtuber WOODENTOASTER..**

 **I do have my own character for her though. Completely dfferent to the music videos.. Though it was referenced in one of the seasons. Saten interupting her perfamance of Rainbow Factory to ask her out.. Appearently she chose to shoot herself with a nailgun instead..**

 **That was suppose to be her only appearence. Derpy and Trixie were also only suppose to be one shot characters.. But after Trixie and Derpy changed to bigger characters. Glaze became one soon after, when I give Saten his own verison of the main six. Well. 4 XD.** **. They probably don't appear as a group much. Though they do in GTA crossover. But they still have the relationship..**

 **:)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Whenever it's asked, people always say Saten Twist should be voiced by Crieg Armstrong. The voice of Dan from Dan Vs..**

 **I sometimes say Aaron Paul would also work. From Breakng Bad and BoJack Horseman..**

 **Who you think could voice my verison of Glaze?**

* * *

Twilight Sparkle (locked in cave): Hello? Is anyone there?

Twilight Sparkle: Where am I?

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: _The caves beneath Canterlot, once home to greedy unicorns who wanted to claim the gems that could be found inside. And now, your prison._

Twilight Sparkle: Help! Help!

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: [laughing] _It's no use. No one can hear you. And no one will ever think to look for you, either. Most ponies have forgotten that these caves even exist, which is why they are the ideal place to keep the ones who try to interfere with my plans._ [laughing]

Twilight Sparkle: Plans? What plans?!

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: _The plans I have for your brother, of course._

Twilight Sparkle: Don't you _dare_ do anything to my brother, you... YOU MONSTER!

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: _Only way to stop me is to catch me!_ [laughing] _Over here!_ [laughing] _Nope, over here!_ [laughing][glass breaking, Real Cadence is revealed.

Twilight Sparkle: YOU! (charges)

Princess Cadance: No! Wait! Please! Twilight, it's me! Please, you have to believe me. I've been imprisoned like you. The Cadance who brought you down here was an

Sparkle: Likely story!

Princess Cadance: (does song from their childhood)

Sparkle: You remember me!

Princess Cadance: Of course I do. How could I forget the filly I love to sit for the most?

 _Queen Chrysalis: [laughing]_

Twilight Sparkle: We have to get out of here. We have to stop her!

Fake Cadence: [heard laughing, in a dramatic way]

* * *

 **Added seen.**

* * *

After the song, Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis gets a knock on her door.

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: (rudely) What?

Saten: Hey.. I have to say. I don't like the way you turned everyone on Twilight. You could of handled that better.

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: She was gonna ruin it.

Saten: Well, I think there's something off about you. In fact I-

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: Wanna see dirty pictures of me?

Saten Twist: ... I do.

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: (gives him envolope)

Saten Twist: (lloks though) Wait. These are just empty papers, what gi-

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: (shoots green spell at him, hynotizing him).. Now.. Everything is fine.

Saten Twist (robotically): Everything is fine.

Princess Cadance/Queen Chrysalis: You will go now.

Saten Twist (robotically): I will leave now (leaves).

* * *

AJ and Rarity find Saten.

Rarity: We been looking everywhere for you.

Saten Twist (robotically): Everything is fine.

AJ: Okaaay. But we need to get you seated.

Saten Twist (robotically): Everything is fine.. I will go now.. (leaves).

AJ: (looks at Rarity in confusion).

Rarity: (shrugs)


	24. Chapter 24

Celestia is about to pronounce the couple mare and colt.

Derpy: Isn't this exciting Saten?

Saten (still brainwashed): Everything is fine.

Derpy: Yes, yes it is.

Twilight and Cadance burst in. The real Cadence reveals herself, and declares the imposter to be a changeling, a creature that takes the form of a loved one and gains power by feeding off of love.

The imposter, enraged, reveals her true form: Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings.

Chrysalis says that Equestria has more love than any place she's ever encountered, and conquering Equestria will give her and her changeling army more power than they've ever dreamed of. Even as she speaks, the changeling army is battering away at Canterlot's defenses.

Princess Celestia, infuriated at having been deceived, declares that even though Shining Armor is powerless, she will defend her subjects. She fires a white-golden beam of magic at Chrysalis, who retaliates with a green beam of magic. Chrysalis' beam overpowers Celestia's, smacking Celestia to the floor, knocking off her tiara, causing her mane and tail to stop flowing, and scorching her horn. Chrysalis is astonished by the power she has gained from Shining Armor's love. Struggling to remain conscious, Celestia instructs the six main characters to retrieve the Elements of Harmony, their only hope for stopping Chrysalis. Before they do, Derpy and Glaze say they wanna come. Twilight says "fine, as long as you don't slow us down."

Derpy and Glaze: We won't.

Twilight: Lets g-

Brainwashed Saten (blocks them): Your not going anywhere!

Twilight: Oh no! She got Saten!

Saten: Your not stopping the quee-

Fluttershy, of all people, suddenly punches him in the face.

Saten (normal): Ow! What was that for!?

Fluttershy (dryly): There, he's back..

Saten: That really hur- (sees Chrysalis) (female scream) GIANT BUG!

Glaze: Never mind that! (pulls him along) We gotta go!


	25. Chapter 25

The six ponies, along with Saten, Derpy, and Glaze race towards Canterlot Tower where the elements are held. The changelings finally shatter the protective sphere and start wreaking havoc in the city. The group are hemmed in by a crowd of hungry, vicious changelings, which take on the appearance of the the group to confuse them. Using everything from their hooves to Pinkie Pie's party cannon, the ponies defeat the first wave of changelings. Saten smashes a bottle onto one.

However, their reprieve is short; Canterlot Tower has already been overrun by more changelings. With the numbers stacked heavily against the Mane Six, they are eventually captured.

* * *

The changelings have imprisoned Celestia in a lime green goo cocoon in the wedding hall and glued Cadance's hooves to the floor with the same substance. Cadance insists that the six friends will save them, but a group of Changelings walk in with the friends held in custody. Chrysalis gloats that everyone but Twilight was too fixated on the wedding to notice anything. Applejack apologizes on behalf of the others for ignoring Twilight's doubts, and Twilight assures Applejack that she has no hard feelings. Chrysalis sings a stanza to the tune of This Day Aria as she observes the chaos in the streets below.

* * *

Twilight frees Cadance and urges her to try and break the spell on Shining Armor. Cadance embraces him and breaks his trance with her spell of love. Shining Armor says that he doesn't have the strength to repel the changelings, but Cadance declares that her love will give him strength. The two connect horns, creating a powerful, bright pink, purple and white whirlwind of magic that lifts the couple into the air and shakes the room. When they look into each other's eyes, their bodies glow with bright white light and take on a heart shape as the magic expands outward as a bright, purple sphere. The ponies shade their eyes from the light, while Chrysalis and the changelings are thrown out of Canterlot. With the changelings gone, and Celestia free from her cocoon, the ponies prepare for the real royal wedding.

* * *

At the wedding, Twilight takes her reinstated place as best mare as their parents look on proudly from the audience. Celestia pronounces Cadance and Shining Armor mare and colt and levitates their rings onto their horns. Celestia commends the heroism of Twilight and her friends and emphasizes the importance of trusting one's instincts. The bride and groom step out to a balcony to wave to a crowd of cheering ponies. As Shining Armor and Cadance kiss, Celestia reminds Rainbow Dash to perform her sonic rainboom for the ceremony.

The scene changes to the evening wedding reception in the courtyard, where the newlyweds start dancing. Princess Luna joins her sister and the Mane Six and unknowingly asks if she missed anything. DJ Pon-3 works her turntables and Twilight sings Love Is In Bloom while a montage of humorous and memorable photos taken during the party is shown. At the end of the party, Shining Armor thanks Twilight and they hug.

* * *

Celestia approaches Saten. Asking why she never gets friendship lesson letters from him.

Saten: I'm not part of the main six.

Celestia: Oh, it's not limited to them, and your a big enough character.. Give me what you learned sweetie.

* * *

 **End of episode:**


	26. EPISODE 4:

**I'll do another South Park episode.. These are fun.. And don't have many ideas left.**

* * *

So turns out Saten does marry Trixie. Had an idea for it, but I kept forgetting.

For some reason Trixie choses to go skiing to celebrate. Sword, Twilight and Derpy brought along.

Trixie and Saten manage to go to the ski hills. But the others get left behind by two manlpulative salesmen. Phil and Josh. They urge them to attend a meeting, but the three are a little reluctant, as they had hoped to attend it later, and ski right at the moment. But are tricked into attending anyway.


	27. Chapter 27

So turns out Saten and Trixe never actually went skiing before, so started at the bunny hill. Lead by a intructor named Thunder.

Thumper: All right you two, my name is Thumper, and I'm gonna be your cool ski instructor. We're gonna take it slow, take it easy, make sure everybody has a goood time. 'Cause what is skiing about? Having a good...? _[puts his left hand to his ear, hoping for an answer. The two blankly stare at him] ..._ Time, that's right. Now, just a few safety things to keep in mind: First of all, look straight ahead when you ski. You look down, you're gonna fall, you're gonna have a bad time. Also, be aware of skiers around you. You run into another skier, your skis are gonna cross, gonna have a bad time. You with the white hair you first.

Trixie: Sure.. (goes up to him).

Thumper: Alright pretty lady, we're gonna do this without any poles until we know our two primary feet positions. To go slow, we wedge our skis together _[he puts his indices and thumbs together; front ski tips touch]_ , in the shape of a slice of pizza. Then to go faster, we put 'em parallel, like... French fries. _[begins to drift forward]_ You see that? _[wedges the skis]_ Pizza, _[lines up the skis]_ French fries, _[wedges the skis]_ Pizza, _[lines up the skis]_ French fries. _[moves farther away each time] ..._ Okay, go.

Trixie: _(tries to go down) (But_ _skis out of control and falls)_

Thumper: Okay, you see what she did?! She French-fried when she should've pizza'd. You French-fry when you pizza, you're gonna have a bad time!

Trixie: _Ow._

* * *

 _T_ _he meeting, meanwhile. Phil and Josh are presenting the time-share plan._

Phil: And so, we think we can convince you to buy one of our combos that's opening right here in Phase 4.

Josh:That sounds like a GREAT investment opportunity!

Master Sword: I-I'm sorry, but none of us can really afford to own our own vacation condo.

Twilight: Yeah, and to be honest, we're just doing this meeting because of the two nights free deal.

Phil: Oh, I know, that's what everybody says - "Not me, I can't afford it." But what if I told you you could own one of our properties for only eight thousand dollars!

Derpy: Wait. For only eight thousand dollars we can buy a condo here?

Phil: Well you see, "time-share" means you buy the condo with about twenty other people like yourselves _[exits screen left and immediately enters screen right]_ You _[puts his hands together]_ "share" the condo with other investors and pick the _[points to his watch]_ "time" you want to stay.

Josh: _[makes a fist with his right hand]_ Share, _[makes a fist with his left hand]_ time. _[joins his fists together]_ Time share.

Derpy: So then it's not really ours.

Phil: Sure it is, one twenty-fourth and a half yours! You see, time-share has made it possible for even working-class people like you to say, "I've got a little place in Aspen."

Josh: Try it. Try saying it. "I've got a little place in Aspen."

All three: I've got a little place in Aspen.

Phil: Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?

Twlight: _[looks at her watch]_ Listen uh, it's been thirty minutes. We'd like to go hit the slopes now?

Phil: Woll uh, you still gotta come to the time-share luncheon. We did give you a free condo for the weekend.

Sword: Well your ad said we only had to attend a thirty-minute meeting.

Phil: Right, but this isn't that meeting. The luncheon is that meeting. _[the three just look at him]_ Don't worry, you're gonna have a great free meal at the luncheon.

* * *

 _Bunny slope, later._

Saten: Your getting better Trix.

Trixie: So are you.

Stranger (skis over): Looks like _you_ think you're a pretty good skier, huh, red boy?

Saten: Well I'm... catchin' on pretty fast, I guess. Who are you?

Stranger: I'm Tad. I've been skiing for twenty-two years. Think you could beat _me_?

Saten: Probably not.

Tad: What's your name, hot shot?

Saten: Saten Twist.

Tad (laughs): Saten WASTE is more like it.

Skier: Hahahaha, WASTE!

Tad: Alright, how about a race, then? You and me.

Saten: Dude, I'm just learning.

Tad: OooooOOOOooo! _[starts moving and squawking like a chicken, ending up facing the confused Saten]_ Looks to me like you're not a "hot shot" after all.

Saten: I never said I was.

Tad: Oooooooo!

Tad's friends: Oooooooo!

Tad: You may think you've got what it takes, but as long as I'm around, you'll _always_ be number two! _[the two other skiers left]_ See ya later, Darsh! _[laughs, kicks some snow into Stan's face, and skis away]._

Saten: What just happened?

Trixie: I'm not sure.

* * *

 **Saten and Trixie is such a adorable couple. I love them.. :)**


	28. Chapter 28

Trixie (skiing): ...french fries...pizza...pizza...pizza-french fries... I wonder where the others are.

Saten: Not su-

Tad: _[arrives, with his friends close behind]_ Well well well, if it isn't Saten Waste!

Saten: _[winces and covers his face with his right hand]_ Oh no.

Tad: Say _Waste_ , you don't mind if I take your girlfriend Heather out for some fondue tonight, do ya?

Saten: Who? _[a woman skis up and stands next to the Tad]_

Heather: Sorry, Saten, it's just that when it comes to skiing, Tad has all the right moves.

Tad: I just might show her _my_ moves tonight, if you know what I mean. _[giggles]_

Heather: You aren't mad, are you, Saten? I mean, a girl's gotta look out for her best interests.

Trixie: _[just looks at them]_ ...who _are_ you people?!

Saten: Yeah, what the hell is going on?!

Tad: Still don't wanna race me? I told you he was chicken, Heather. Saten Twist the Waste! _[laughs disdainfully]_

Saten: All right dude, if I race you, will you leave me alone?

Tad and friends: Oooooooo!

Tad: Alright, fine. You and me at the summit, now!

* * *

Saten loses the race, not serprised by said fact.

Tad: No hard feelings, right, Waste?! _[starts laughing, leaves]._

Nerdy Teen Girl: ... Saten.. For what it's worth, I think you were really brave.

Trixie: Who are you?

Nerdy Teen Girl: Hey, all the cool teens are gonna be at the youth center tonight for a dance. I hope you'll come because you're just so... we-hell, you're just so.. well, that's all. _[turns around and walks off]_

Trixie: (not comfortable with that last part).

* * *

CHAIR LIFT:

Twilight: Finally, we get to go skiing!

Derpy: Yeah, we may not have gotten to ski earlier, but with this lift we'll get more runs in than anybody.

Sword: Yeah.. Hey look, this chair lift goes right into a building. _[the lift turns, drops them off, and moves back out]._

Phil: Welcome back, folks!

Josh: We've got a special offer we can't wait to tell you about!

Sword: FUCK!

Derpy: Man this weirdest thing I ever seen.. Well, except for last week.

* * *

 _LAST WEEK:_

 _Derpy is driving her daughter Dinky and Dinky's friend Scootaloo, the two girls are arguing a bit._

 _Dinky: Shut it Scootaloo, you silly moose!_

 _Derpy: (bears down on the brakes) (angrily) What did you say?!_

 _Dinky: I just... She's a silly goose._

 _Derpy (angrily) You do not say "Big silly goose"! You call her an asshole like a 'normal' little girl!_

 _Dinky: But mom I-_

 _Derpy (sternly): YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND AN ASSHOLE THIS INSTANT!_

 _Dinky: (to Scootaloo) ... You asshole._

 _Derpy: That's better._


	29. Chapter 29

Saten and Trixie head into a main room. Where there's a live band, and a party.

Nerdy Teen Girl: I'm glad you guys came. Do you like our youth center?

Trixie: It seems fine I guess.

Voguing Skier:Yeah, too bad we're getting shut down. That hot-shot skier Tad's father is gonna bulldoze the building.

Voguing Skier 2: Where are all us kids supposed to go?

Salen: I really don't care.

Trixie: Me either.

Announcer: Alright As a special treat tonight we're proud to have the winner of today's race, Tad Mikowski. _[moves off and the crowd begins to cheer as Tad approaches the mic]_

Tad: Yeah!

Saten: Not him again. [ _buries his face in his hand again.]_

Tad: Hey everyone. _[the crowd quiets down]_ I'd like to sing a little song, if I may.

The Ladies: _[swooning]_ Ooooooooo.

Saten: Gah, let's go you guys. _[turns around and leads the others towards the door...]_

Tad: This is a song I wrote about… Saten Twist. _[Saten stops in his tracks]_

 _Tad: Saten, WASTE!… Wastey waste! He's a waste! A big fat waste!  
_

 _Saten (annoyed):_ Dude, what the hell is your problem?!

Tad and friends: OooOOOOOOoooooo!

Saten: I raced you, You won! It's over!

Tad: A rematch?!

Saten: I didn't say tha-

Tad: Oh, Saten. You're even dumber than I thought.

Teen Boy: He'll ski you anytime, anywhere!

Teens: Yeah!

Nerdy Teen Girl: But this time, if he wins, you get your dad to not close our youth center!

Saten: Wait, what?

Tad: Alright then, let's make it interesting. Tomorrow afternoon. On the K-13. _[points at a window. And a lone huge peak is shown]._

A Teen Boy: _[steps into view]_ The K-13? But that's the most dangerous run in all of Esquestria.. _[steps away]_

Tad: Hell, I'm not chicken! Are _you_ , Saten?! _[starts squawking like a chicken]_

Saten: Fine, I'll do it.

Trixie: WHAT!?

Tad: Oh, _yeah_?

Saten: Yeah!

Tad: You're even dumber than I thought... Again! See ya tomorrow.

* * *

OUTSIDE:

Trixie: Baby, this is absurd!

Saten: I have to, he has my girlfriend.

Trixie (angrily): Saten, I'M your girlfriend!

Saten: I know I-, ugh. Look I can't explain it but I have to do this. I'm not gonna die. I mean, how bad can the K-13 be?

Jud Crandall: _[appears out of nowhere]_ The K-13? You don't wanna go down that run. That run has got a history Ayuh, Thirty-five people have died goin' down dere, and some say you can still see their ghosts up. It was on that very ski run that a group of students were killed by a wolf-boy who escaped from a mental institution. You see, that ski run was once a burial ground to a tribe of vampire Wichicaw Indians who ate the flesh of children with no eyes. Ayuh- a lot of history on that ski run. [leaves].

Saten: (to Trixie) And you were _worried_.


	30. Chapter 30

_The other 3 are still meeting with Phil and Josh._

Phil: …And so you see it's the investment opportunity that keeps on giving.

Twilight: How many times do we have to tell you this? We don't want to buy shares in a condo!

Josh: And we certainly don't want to pressure you.

Twilight: Pressure us?! You kept us all day yesterday and then had a chair lift bring us back!

Phil: Heh-ey, you can leave anytime you want. Of course, that is, if you don't want the super-secret fun prize for attending the slide show.

Sword: _[Rises from his chair angrily]_ No, we DON'T want the super-secret fun prize alright?! We just wanna ski! Come on, everybody! _[leads the others towards the door]_

Josh: I know! Have you ever considered going _in_ on a time share?

Phil: That's only a couple thousand each, Josh!

Sword: Don't listen to 'em, let's just go! (They _parents walk down the hall._

Derpy: My God, can you believe those people?!

Sword: Let's just get out of here. _[opens a door across the hall. The three find themselves in a room exactly like the one they left across the hall]_

Phil

Folks, I'm glad you're back, because we forgot to mention, time-share condos are _still_ deeded properties!

Parents

Aaagh! _[they turn around and walk out... er, in]_

Phil

Oooo, you folks _really_ lucked out this time. You're visitor number one thousand!

Josh

That means you can listen to our special offer for privileged members only!

Randy

That does it! I'm calling the police! _[takes out the cell phone and begins dialing. One of the salesmen groans softly]_

* * *

Saten has Thunder give him training though a cliche song montage.

* * *

Cop 1: All right, let me see if I got this straight. You two gentlemen are offering part-time limited liability _[suddenly animated]_ ownership in one of your fabulous condos for the one-time price of eight thousand dollars?!

Phil: That's right!

Cop 2: Sounds to me like if anybody should be arrested it should be _you_ people for passin' up such a great deal!

Cop 1: That's right, you're practically stealing condos at _that_ price. "Book 'em, Danno!" _[laughs/]_

Sword:The police work for time-share, too? _[the police draw their gun]._

Phil: _[menacing moves forward]_ The police, the mayor, even Celestia.. Perhaps now you see the severity of your situation. I think we shall all _sit down_... _[backs up]_ and listen to the presentation.

Josh _[draws his own gun and aims]_ Sit! _[the parents go to the table and sit on the chair]_ Dowwwwn.

Phil: Now, you're probably asking yourselves... "Can my time-share condo turn into a profit?"

Josh: "What kind of cash flow can I realize from my investment?"

Phil: The answer might astonish you. For over ten years investors have seen their-

Sword: God, dammit.


	31. Chapter 31

When the big race begins, Tad has an advantage over Saten, despite Saten's heavy training he is still no match for Tad's several years of skiing.

Ironically and quite humorously, Taf wastes all his time trying to sabatage Saten. And ends up losing to him.

Saten, having won, is approached by Heather and says she wishes to be his girlfriend "again" (despite Saten having never met her before), and attempts to kiss him. But instead Trixie punches Heather out cold, and pulls him to leave.

The other three finally arrive.

Jud: Well, that does it. Looks like the spirits of the Wakichaw Indians can finally rest in peace Ayuh. _[three spirits rise from K-13 thanking Saten for setting them free.. Even though he didn't do anything.]_

Sword: Sorry for the delay, we got a little held up at the time-share sales office. But the good news is we finally came to our senses and bought some shares in a condo. So we all get to come to Aspen for two weeks every year!

Saten and Trixeie: Awwwwww!

Twilight: What's the matter? Didn't you two like skiing?

Saten: No! We can't keep track of when you pizza and when you French-fries and when the hot-shot asshole skier annoys you, and if you're supposed to race him the first time or train first to beat him on the really difficult mountain so you can save the dorky but hot girl's youth center. Skiing sucks!

Trixie: Yeah, what a stupid sport! (they leave).

* * *

 **End of episode.. I'll do about 2 or episodes before ending the season.. And probably the series.. Here are the choices.. Pick two or 3 final episodes..**

* * *

 **SOUTH PARK:**

 **Stanley Cup:**

 **(Dinky is forced into hockey coaching to make money).**

 **Nightmore on FaceTime:**

 **(Sword buys a Blockbuster store but nobody shops at it, and he quickly loses it).**

 **Bloody Mary:**

 **(Properly dives into Saten quit drinking)**

* * *

 **SIMPSONS:**

 **Lost our Lisa:**

 **(Dinky takes the bus but gets lost).**

 **Bart Star:**

 **(Glaze teaches soccer after annoying Rainbow).**

 **Flaming Homer:**

 **(Saten's idea of a drink is stolen).**

* * *

 **FAMILY GUY:**

 **Death is a Bitch:**

 **(Saten fakes his death).**


	32. EPISODE 5:

**The highest voted epsode retelling was this one..**

* * *

 _Before getting to the story, there's a clip from another episode I'd like to show._

 _It begins acid raining. And the TV cuts out._

 _Saten: AHH! THE TV! (runs outside, but the acid hits him) AHHHHHH! (runs inside, sees TV) AHHH! (runs outside) AHHHHHH!_

 _Trixie: Would you cut that out, I'm still hungover.. This is why I don't go out drinking wth you and the other two._

 _Saten: You could of left anytime.. And what do we do without TV!?_

 _Trixie: I don't know.. Just let me sleep._

* * *

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

So I remember having a character, Maggie, who's a bartender. She's also gay, but nobody seems to mind or care. Mostly cause she doesn't act stereotypical about, you honestly wouldn't know on first impression. Anyway, her bar is having financial trouble. Saten chooses to tell her buddy about a drink recipe that he accidentally invented one night when he actually did have a flu. Saying cough syrup into some whiskey, and when it fell onto a candle, it ended tasting amazing.

After trying said drink out, Maggie steals idea, renames the drink after herself. Honestly one of the few negative actions she would of done. After she begins seeing the drink is really really popular.


	33. Chapter 33

Dinky (at school): The inventor I admire is not a rich man or a famous man, or even a smart man. He's my uncle, Saten Twist. creator of #Dun-da-da-dah #The Flaming Saten!

Student: The Flaming Saten?! You mean the Flaming Maggie, and your uncle didn't invent it, you wuss.

Dinky: It's not true. He invented it. Allow me to demonstrate.

Cheerilee: Are those liquor bottles?!

Dinky (nervously): I brought them for everyone.

Cheerilee: Take those to the teachers' lounge.

* * *

Maggie: I'm sorry you're mad, but this isn't personal. This is just business.. Pita and I were desperate.

Saten: Oh Pita is in on it two eh?

Maggie: Well, she doesn't know it was your idea.. But yeah.

Saten (angrily):: Well, you and your girlfrend just a customer.

Maggie: What? I couldn't hear you.

Saten: I said, you just lost a customer!

Maggie: What?!

Saten (screaming) You just lost a customer, Maggie!

Maggie: Yeah, you can use it!

* * *

The next day Saten is at Starlight Glimmer's house, she basically fills his role of "surrogate sister". Shared with Pinkie Pie and Twilight.. But Star is the main one.

Saten (pacing and mumbling): _Stupid Maggie. Non-inventing, recipe-stealing, wanna say bitch, but still friend, maybe._

Starlight: Would you calm down. Maybe you can take consolation in that something you created is making people happy.

Saten _(high pitched voice)_ : Ohhh, look at me I'm making people happy! _(flapping pegasus wings)_ I'm a lovely little butterfly flapping my butterfly wings! _(skips around)_ I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, Lalalala! _[leaves the room, slamming the door; pokes his head back in]_ Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic. _[closes the door again]_

Starlight _(annoyed)_ : Well, duh.


	34. Chapter 34

Saten Twist subsequently becomes obsessed with Maggie, and how he felt betrayed.

His history with her is unknown, but clearly they knew each a long time.. I'll leave it up for being theroized.

Anyway. During this time, a man from an establishment named Tipsy McStaggers attempts to buy the recipe from her. After she rebuffs him the first time, the man takes the drink and sends it to a lab to analyze what the formula is made of. Shortly afterwards, the gentleman returns to offer her $1,000,000 for the recipe. She declines for a second time, but is warned that their company has almost figured out the recipe, except for one ingredient.

Out of nowhere, a seemingly insane Saten Twist appears on the roof.

Saten: (masked) MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Fools! You poor, pathetic misguided creatures choking down Flaming Maggie's all the time wondering, "How does she do it?" "Yes, what's Maggie Smith's secret!?" Well, I'm going to tell you. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! The secret ingredient is …

Maggie: Saten, NO!

Saten: Cough syrup.. Nothing but plain, ordinary, over-the-counter children's cough syrup! MWAHAHAHA!

Tipsy: Thank you, Mr. Nutball.. Got to go, Mrs Smith. Tough luck.

Maggie: (sad sigh)

* * *

ONE WEEK LATER:

Saten: Sorry again, guess I had too much to drink.. Still friends?

Maggie: Sure. I'm sorry too. I was being selfish. Maggie: Compliments of the house- One Flaming Saten.

Saten: Aw, thanks Margarita.

Maggie: It's Maggie. I always preferred Maggie.

Saten: Right, sorry.

Maggie: (giggles).

* * *

 **END OF EPISODE:**

 **Maggie Smith has always been a character.. She was just never used or mentioned, cause I never had use for her..**


	35. EPISODE 6:

**In my way of saying thanks for all the support.. I let both Balor and Rocker co-write a episode.. Or rather, one of the reenactment episodes (and they choose which story)..**

 **Lets start with Balor's.. Her's should be easier..**

* * *

The story starts off at AppleJack's farm, at cider season. AJ not allowing Derpy, Sword and Saten to have any cider.

"No more cider guys.. It has a risk of having alcohol." The blonde pony said.

Saten: So?

"Well 91% of all drunk based chaos are caused by you three." AppleJack replied.

Derpy, Saten and Sword all cheer and high five.

"Not what I meant. We need designated drivers." AppleJack said, and pulls out jar.

"You know the drill.. Whoever gets the black egg."

The three stick their hands in.

Sword: (sees it) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Hey you got it." Saten said, pointing the already obvious.

* * *

During a party later, Sword suffers alcohol withdraw, squeezing his short blonde hair.

Worse yet, the pony verison of Duffman awards him a huge duff. For _"being a wild party animal.. To the point of murdering 14 people"._

Sword screamed "I CAN'T! I'M THE DESIGNATED DRIVER!"

* * *

THAT NIGHT:

"Thanks Sword.. Remember my car tomorrow." Saten said while drunk. It's confusing in that sense. They are still ponies, but they drive cars. Guess it's just easier for me,

Sword: Yes.. Tomorrow.. Mm,mm, mwaha, (drives off) WAHAHAHAHA!

"Thanks for understanding." Saten sad drunkly, and stumbles to his and Trixie's house.


	36. Chapter 36

**Actually, I'll come back to the the Simpsons one.. I'll do the one HardRocker helps with..**

 **To be honest, I was gonna do Road to North Pole "regardless" of if somebody helped.. It's just convient.. It's the perfect role for Master Sword.**

 **I'll return to Sarah's one in next episode.. Just more excited in doing the darker episode first..**

 **If your new to the series don't know why I label Sword as "villain protagonist" this episode shows why..**

* * *

Saten Twist and Master Sword are at a mall, only to get a rude brush-off from the Santa who works there when he leaves for the night. As a result, Sword vows to kill Santa for blowing him off. And knowing Sword, he _wasn't joking._

Saten: Man, you may want to calm down there

Sword: f that beslubbering, onion-eyed maggot-pie thinks he can just blow me off like that, he's got another thing coming..(pulls out Pistol) And it's full of led (points it)

Saten: (slaps it away) Geez louise man!

Sword: You know what. I'm killing him. You're driving me. Let's go.

Saten: Dri... Driving you where?

Sword; To the North Pole to see Santa Claus.

Saten: Really? Up to the North Pole? How do you expect me to get there?

Sword: We drive

Saten: I'm not driving you to north pole.

Voice: Bar closing

Saten: ... Okay I'll drve you.

* * *

FAKE NORTH POLE:

Sword: This is it huh?

Saten: Yep. This is it.

Teen: Yo, yo, what's up, y'alls? Y'alls ready to kick it in some fine North Pole gear?!

Sword: ... Saten. Does the North Pole usually having teenagers.

Saten: Yeah, sure.

Sword: Hmm... Let me ask something else.. (pins him on wall pointing the gun) YOU THINK I'M AN IDIOT!?

Saten: I..

Sword: You can't jerk me around when it comes to Santa Claus, dude! There is a Ferris wheel here, and a guy hosing vomit! Nobody vomits at the North Pole! Except for Santa's wife because she has an eating disorder!

Saten: What?

Sword: Yeah, 'cause he can have anyone he wants, and she knows that!

Saten: Okay Sword, there's something I should probably tell you.

Sword: Fine (lowers gun)

Saten: I hate to tell you this Sword, but there really is no Santa.

Sword: ... (chuckles) That's funny.. I thought you said Santa wasn't real.. What's next, hmm? . Um, who else isn't real? Hmm? Y...You gonna tell me Elmo isn't real? Or SpongeBob? Is he not real? Is SpongeBob not there at the bottom of the ocean giving Squidward the business? Hmm? And what about Curious George? Huh? Does he not really exist? Hmm? Is Curious George not out there makin' little boats out of newspapers that he should be delivering? Huh? Educate yourself, you fool!

Saten: Guess we'll have to do this the hard way then.

Sword: you know, you know why nothing works out for you, Twist!? Because you've got a negative attitude. Like Eeyore.

Saten: Oh, that's not fair Master. I don't think I have a negative attitude. I just don't think it's a good idea for us to embark on a potentially dangerous journey whe...

Sword: I still have a loaded gun.. Now drive me to the real North Pole.

Saten: What do I get out of this?

Sword: Well, what do you want?

Saten: ANything is fine.

Sword: Help me and ... I'll take you and Trixie with me to Los Pegasus.

Sword: I'll even pay for the greatest buffets.

Saten: Fine..


	37. Chapter 37

(They drive to Canada but the car breaks down).

Saten: Well that's just great.

Canadian: Hey there fokes.

Sword: Well this is convienent

Canadian: Oh, hey there. You're having some car troubles, eh?

Saten: Yeah, we're trying to get to the North Pole. I don't suppose you're from Triple A, are you?

Canadian: Who?

Saten: Triple A, you know? A-A-A.

Canadian: Oh, AA, eh? Oh, I just came from AA.

Saten: No, not AA! AAA!

Canadian: Yeah, that's what I said. AA, eh?

Saten:: Oh, so you are with Triple A.

Canadian: Oh, no, that's AAA. I just came from AA, eh?

Sword: Saten I think he's just a drunk.

Saten: Hold on Master, I'm handling this.

Canadian: Well, I can probably take you to a gas station, eh? You have cash, eh?

Saten: Well, I dunno, my name carries a little weight, but I don't see how that matters here.

Sword: Look, we don't have enough cash to fix the car and we're kind of on our way to the North Pole.

Canadian: Oh, a car won't take ya there anyway. But if ya like, you can take my snowmobile.

Saten: ... Really?

Canadian: Oh, sure. That's what Canadian hospitality's all aboot. If ya like, you can have all my money and my leg.

Sword: ... Okay.

* * *

(skip to the two on the snowmoblie, Sword holding the leg)

Saten: Why'd we take his leg?

Sword: We're in their country, Saten, we have to observe their customs. (drops leg on bump)

Sword: ... Well, at least we're done with the first leg of our journey.

Saten: That pun was bad and you should feel bad.

Sword (annoyed): Fuck off

Saten: I would, but then you'd be all alone.

* * *

(They arrive)

Sword: There it is, Santa's factory

Saten: ...

Saten: I don't believe it

They knock and sure enough Santa appears. However Santa is a sick and elderly looking, dying man.

Saten: Santa!?

Santa: Who are you?

Sword: I'm Master Sword (pulls out the handgun) AND I'M HERE TO KILL YOU!

Santa: ... Oh thank god. *kneels in front of them* Please do it.

Sword: What?

Santa: (puts gun in mouth) Do it!

Sword: You.. Want me two?

Santa: Put me out of my misery!

Sword: Whoa man, there's no sport in that.

Santa: *starts coughing, Saten helps him up*

Saten: I... I don't understand. I thought you were supposed to be jolly and happy.

Santa _(shows the factory to be dark gloomy place, and the elfs ll deformed and grey skinned, and the Raindeers all rabid wild animals)_ : I used to be, a long time ago. I made toys for little boys and girls. I loved my work, and they loved me. But it just got out of hand. The world's population kept growing and growing. Kids wanted more toys, fancier toys! We used to make wooden choo-choos and rag dolls. You ever try to make an iPod?! I've got orders for millions of 'em!

Saten: ... (crosses iPod off his list).

Santa: Look at those poor elves.. they're just a sickly race of mutated genetic disasters. At least 60% of them are born blind. The workload destroys them, but they don't know anything else. It's gotten so their instincts take over, and near the end, they just walk out into the snow and die. Then the reindeer eat them, which has turned the reindeer into wild, feral creatures with a blood-lust for elf flesh. I don't even pray for them anymore. Seems pointless. What God would allow this?

Sword _(actually frightened, which for him is saying a lot)_ : This is none of the songs or specials!

Saten: How could you let this happen?!

Santa: Me!? I didn't do this! CHRISTMAS DID THIS!

(All the elves stand up angrily)

* * *

 _SONG:_

 _Santa: Each bell would peal with a silvery zeal, as the holiday feeling was filling us. But now instead all we're feeling is dread, because Christmas time is killing us!_

 _Elves (all together): Each Christmas list gets us more and more pissed, till the thought of existence is chilling us!_

 _Santa: I'll tell you what, shove your list up your butt! Because Christmas time is killing us!_

 _Saten (singing): But can't you see, that what you do is a dream come true? Can't you see that, every smile makes it all worthwhile?_

 _Santa: No, screw, you! It's all but through, there's too much to do! All those dreams are nightmares, (zoom in Elf) AND BLANK ICY STARES!_

 _Santa: Each little elf used to fill up a shelf, making playthings and selflessly thrilling us! Now they're on crack, and it feels like lraq, because Christmastime is killing us!_

 _Elves (together): Each model train only heightens the pain of a workload that's draining and drilling us!_

 _Santa: Fingers all bleed, and look that guy just peed, because Christmas time is killing us!_

 _Sword (singing): But can't you see, our point of view? We rely on you. Can't you see that Christmas cheer, gets us through the year?_

 _Santa: My whole crew is black and blue, can't you take a clue? You may think I look great, (zoom in to show his elderly wrinkered skin) BUT I'M TWENTY-EIGHT!_

 _Santa: Each jingle bell is a requiem knell. And while you think it's swell we are toiling in Hell. Take a look, you can tell as a man I'm a sheeeeeeeeeell! because Christmastime is killing us! KILLING US! Christmas time is killing us!_

 _(Song ends with the elves all hanging themselves)._

* * *

Santa: (coughs and passes out)

Saten: (jaw dropped)

Sword: ... Is weird that that was a great song?

Saten: _(eyes turn to him, having no reply)_

* * *

Skips to Santa in hospital.

Saten: Is he going to be okay?! It's Christmas!

Elf Doctor: Christmas is the problem! He can't keep this pace up anymore. If he goes out tonight, he'll die.

20h agoSword: Which means no more Christmas!?

Elf Doctor: Afraid so.

Saten: ... We're do it

Sword and Doctor (together): What!?

Saten: You were right Sword, he IS real. And he needs our help.

Sword: Alright. So how do we start?

Saten': Don't worry, Santa. We'll make sure there's a Christmas this year.

Santa: Thank you red pony. That brings me peace in this hour. I'll be with Allah soon.

Saten: What!?

Dr Elf: H-he's just delerious.

Saten: *clearly uncomfortable* Okay then. So we should probably get started

Sword: Anyone else freaked out by that Allah thing?

Saten: Forget that, lets get going.

* * *

 _(Later as they prepare to leave)._

Saten: alright.. (whips) Mush!

*Reindeer don't move*

Sword: It's not working. I think they need to be coaxed. Santa said they eat elf flesh.

Sword _(sees a misshapen elf standing in the snow, staring blankly at nothing):_ Hey! Hey you! Come over here!

Elf doesn't move.

Saten: I don't think he even knows where he is.

Sword: I guess we should just do it then.

Saten: _(sighs, goes over with swissblade)_

Saten cuts through the elf's arm, the elf is unfazed and unresponsive.

Saten _(takes the arm):_ So... bye! *runs back to sleigh*

They take off, using the arm as a lure.

* * *

Sword: Hey dude, that one reindeer just kind of pooped in the other reindeer's face, and the other reindeer just kind of ate it. Isn't Christmas magical?

Saten: It sure is.

* * *

 **Weird how two of the darkest most disturbing episodes of Saten Twist Adventures are both Christmas based..**


	38. Chapter 38

**Warning. Mature Content..**

* * *

Sword: Alright. First house of the night

Saten: _(tosses gifts carelessly)_

Sword: Whoa whoa man! You can't just toss those all about.

Saten: Why not?

Sword: You kidding? Those aren't socks and underwear donated by the fire department to some battered women's shelter. Those are Santa gifts, show some care asshole.

Saten: Whatever, I delievered them. *grabs cookie and eats it*

Sword: Did you just eat that whole cookie off the mantel?!

Saten: What? They left it out for Santa. We're Santa.

Sword: Yeah, but you're not supposed to eat all of it. You take a bite and a sip of milk..

Saten: Oh you know what. *pours milk on ground* There. Now they'll know Santa was here

Sword: More like Grinch was here.

Saten: Look I'm here giving out presents, I'll eat the damn cookie if I want. In fact, I might make myself a sandwich.

Sword: Don't you fucking dare!

Saten: *goes into the kitchen*

Man: Who's there!? (turns on light)

Saten: Uhh.. I'm Santa.

Man: Yeah, sure, your Santa. That why you broke in through the window? I'm calling the cops.

Saten: Wait, we are. We just couldn't fit though the chimey, and forgot the presents.. It's actually a funny stor-

Sword: AHH! (assualts him with bat, spraying blood everywherw)

Saten: WHAT THE HELL!?

Sword: HE WAS GONNA CALL THE COPS! NOBODY CALLS THE FUCKING COPS ON SANTA!

Sword: Now help me drag him to the closet!

Girl: Santa!?

Sword: ... Fuck

Wife: Who are you!?.. (sees body) DAN!?

Saten: Look, we can explain.

Wife flees.

Sword panicks and fires the handgun from earlier.

Girl: MOMMY!

Saten: DUDE!

Sword: I panicked okay! Now find some tape!

* * *

The little girl is taped up.

Sword: Alright, now to clean the bat and give to (reads) Johnny... Go check for her brother

Saten: (Goes upstairs) There's only one bedroom!

Sword: Then who's... oh dear god we're in the wrong house!

(sirens blaring)

Sword: Damn it, we tripped the alarm. The cops are coming. Let's go!

Saten: What?! We're just leaving like this? What about not wanting to ruin Christmas?!

Sword: It's _already_ ruined! This was one house. We've been here for an hour and a half! An hour and... First of all, we're not even Santa anymore. This has been a home invasion. But an hour and a half Saten!

Saten: No wonder Santa lost his mind, we can't do this in one night!

Sword: NOBODY CAN'T IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!

* * *

 **Sadly this isn't even the worst thing Master Sword has done.. It's in the top 5 though..**


	39. Chapter 39

ON SLED:

Sword: I can't believe it! We were supposed to save Christmas, and we completely blew it! We failed Santa!

Saten: No. No, we didn't fail Santa. The _world_ failed Santa. The poor man just gives and gives and gives, and everyone just takes him for granted. Hell, I didn't even think he existed until last night.

Sword: I agree. But what are we supposed to do now? Christmas is doomed.

Saten: Maybe, but there is one thing we can do.

Saten: But we can make things right

* * *

PONYVILLE/THE NEXT DAY:

Reporter: This just in, reports from all over the world says that no presents have delivered. We can only assume that everyone has been naugh-

Saten (runs infront of camera): Wait! I know what happened to Santa!

Reporter: Wha?

Twi (from her house): Saten?

(Saten wheels out Santa).

Reporter: Santa?!

Saten: That's right! It's Santa Claus! And the reason there was no Christmas this year is that this man is sick. Very sick. He's been bludgeoned by years of greed and avarice. The workload of filling our Christmas lists has overwhelmed him. And at the rate he's going, he may not make it another year. But there's a way for us to help him. If all of us everywhere can just cut back our demands and ask for only one Christmas present every year, there may still be hope. I know it's in our nature to resist sacrifice, even in hard times, but if we don't, we may have to give up Christmas altogether.

Reporter: You heard him folks. Will we take just one gift a year, can we live with that?

Various people: One is enough... One's enough... I can live with that.

Hardrocker21: Okay, just one.. But if it's a gym membership, someone's getting punched in the fucking face!

* * *

 **End of episode :)**


	40. Chapter 7:

**Episode 7: Co-written by Balor..**

* * *

The story starts off at AppleJack's farm, at cider season. AJ not allowing Derpy, Sword and Saten to have any cider.

"No more cider guys.. It has a risk of having alcohol." The blonde pony said.

Saten: So?

"Well 91% of all drunk based chaos are caused by you three." AppleJack replied.

Derpy, Saten and Sword all cheer and high five.

"Not what I meant. We need designated drivers." AppleJack said, and pulls out jar.

"You know the drill.. Whoever gets the black egg."

The three stick their hands in.

Sword: (sees it) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

"Hey you got it." Saten said, pointing the already obvious.

* * *

During a party later, Sword suffers alcohol withdraw, squeezing his short blonde hair.

Worse yet, the pony verison of Duffman awards him a huge duff. For _"being a wild party animal.. To the point of murdering 14 people"._

Sword screamed "I CAN'T! I'M THE DESIGNATED DRIVER!"

* * *

THAT NIGHT:

"Thanks Sword.. Remember my car tomorrow." Saten said while drunk. It's confusing in that sense. They are still ponies, but they drive cars. Guess it's just easier for me,

Sword: Yes.. Tomorrow.. Mm,mm, mwaha, (drives off) WAHAHAHAHA!

"Thanks for understanding." Saten sad drunkly, and stumbles to his and Trixie's house.

* * *

Two months later...

Saten is putting up Have You Seen Me? signs.

Trixie: Well next time don't leave your car with a man who once jumped out a window to avoid being interviewed.

Saten: I could hardly see straight, Trix.

Dinky: Any luck uncle Saten?

Saten: Sorry, kiddo

Limo parks by, the drver opens trunk to pull out a hungover Sword

Driver: Here we are, Mr. Sword

Sword: Thanks my man..

Saten: Sword, where's my car?!

Master Sword (shaking): All l remember about the last two months is giving a guest lecture at Villanova.  
Or maybe it was a street corner.

Saten: So you lost my car eh? I oughta to punch you, but I can't do it in front of Trix-

Trixie: (punches Sword)

Trixie: Take that!

Derpy (flies over, Glaze there with her): Saten, you got a letter.

Glaze: From the city of New York

Saten (reads): My car is illagally parked in New York!? 72 hours to remedy this!?

Glaze: Yay, new york!

Saten: Well... I'll miss that car.

Glaze: Why?

Saten: I don't like New York sis.

Glaze: You can't judge a place you've never been to

Saten: (sighs) I have been there.. lt's time l told you about a chapter of my life l hoped would be closed forever. l was on my way to the Harrisburg Coat Outlet to buy an irregular coat but it required a stopover in New York City.

* * *

 _(Saten has his bag stolen, so tells a cop who also robs him)._

 _(Eating, Saten sees a sign reading 'Crime up 8 million percent')_

* * *

Trixie: Trixie: Well of coarse your have a bad expirence if you focus on all the bad stuff.

Saten: _(no reply)._

Glaze: Oh I love New York, I use to do concerts there when I sang

Saten: Really?

Glaze: Yes.

Saten: Fine.

Glaze: We can all go.

Saten: Fine

Saten: ... _(throws wallet into the fire)._

Trixie: What are you doing!?

Saten: They're not getting my license!

* * *

SEVERAL DAYS LATER

Saten: I hate city buses..

Glaze: I just think we should've paid the extra $1.50 and gotten a bus with restrooms

Derpy: I can't feel my legs. (punches them)

Trixie: Derpy, they belong to the man behind you

 _(an unusally tall man stands and glares at her)._

Derpy: ... _(puppy eyes)_

Man: ... _(sits back down)_

* * *

The girls are n awe of NY.

Saten: This isn't a vacation girls, just coming for my car.

Trixie: We're gonna enjoy the city

Saten: l don't wanna spend one extra second in this urban death maze. I just wanna find it and get the fuck out of here.

Trixie: We'll meet you here at 5

Saten: (sighs, and flies off).

* * *

Glaze goes into record store looking for her own CD's.

Glaze: So basically I quit cause I didn't make money

Cashier (uninterested): Uh huh

Glaze: But the most popular was Rainbow Factory.

Cashier: You buying it not?

Glaze: ... Fine, how much?

* * *

Saten is biting at carboot

Saten: _Come on off, you motherfucker!_

Guy 1: Hey, When you're done With that, l got something up here you can bite onl

Guy 2: Hey, why don't you be polite, you stinkin' pus bag! Pal, you gotta call that number on the boot.  
Sorry about that guy. They stick all the jerks in Tower One.

Guy 1: That's it! l'm comin' over there!

Guy 2: Why don't you come over here!

Guy 1: l got something for you!

Guy 3: SHUT UP, THE BOTH OF YOUS

Saten: (calls pay phone)

 _Woman: Thank you for calling the parking violations bureau. To plead not guilty, please press 1._

Saten: (presses it)

 _Woman: Thank you. Your plea has been- - Rejected._

Saten: Damn it.

 _Woman: You will be assessed the full fine plus a small- Large lateness penalty._  
 _Please wait by your vehicle between 9:00 pm and 5:00 pm for parking officer Steve- - Grabowski._

Saten (hangs up angrily): They expect me to sit here from 9:00 to 5:00? That's- How many hours? Ten, 1 1, denominator- Oh! Where's Trixie when you need her?!

* * *

Trixie: _(on the subway with Glaze and Derpy)_

Trixie: Here's a better idea. You give me your address, and l'll write to you.

Bum: Okay, just send it to Jesus... here at the Pentagon!

Trixie: Are we there yet?

Glaze: Not yet.

Derpy _(holding empty can)_ : Ladies and gentlemen, l'm sorry to disturb your pleasant ride but unlike yourselves, l was born without taste buds.

Derpy: Allow me to demonstrate. _(Licks the railing)_ _(shivers)_ the shit I do for money.. Thank you for your time, free change?

Trixie (pulls her away): Your really something aren't you?

Derpy: Hey I needed cash.

Glaze: Ask them if they heard Rainbow Factory.

* * *

They girls are onto of the Statue of Liberty.

Trixie: Look at the boat of immigrents.

Derpy: Yeah.. _(voice heard from statue)_ BEAT IT DOUCHEBAGS! COUNTRY'S FULL!

Sailor: OK people, you heard the lady. Back into the hold. We'll try Canada.

The immigrents groan in disappointment.

* * *

Saten: I'll take a hot dog.

Guy: No hot dog

Khlav Kalash

Saten: Fine.. (has one) (takes bunch of drinks) Have a bathroom?

Guy: Not bathroom. Tower. (points up) Tower!

Saten: Grrr, I can't leave, why did I drink all of it?.. Screw it. _(flies up to top tower)_

Saten finds the bathroom out of order.

Apr 17Saten: (flies to next building but window locked) Damn it! (runs down, pushing though crowd to elivator)

xXBalorBabeXx _(holding Jade)_ : (calmly) How frightfully rude, I hope someone stabs him in the eye.

Jade: (Meow)

* * *

Saten: OOOOOOOOOOOOO, YEEEES! HEAVENLY! ... (sees the parking officer guy from window) No!

Officer leaves tickey

Saten: NNNOOOOOOOOOO-

* * *

 _Trixie: (hears it) Guess we're gonna be leaving soon._

 _Glaze: Yeah._

* * *

Apr 17Saten: Failure to wait by car!? $250?!

Saten: Fuck you New York! I'm leaving one way or another!

Saten gets in car and drives it the boot still on.

Saten: Hahah- Ow! Hahah- Ow!

* * *

Driver: WATCH THE ROAD!

Biker hit by said driver: YEAH YOU JACKASS!

Saten: Shut up! SHUT UP!

He finds a jackhammer and uses it to remove the boot by force, causing traffic jam.

Saten: WHOO! Thanks for your patience everyone!

(gunshot)

Saten: _(screams and drives off)._

* * *

The girls continue to have a far more pleasent expirence.

Glaze: I love New York.

Derpy: Yeah.. Free pot. _(puts bag in cartoon pocket)._

Trixie _(sees the car):_ Uh oh, here he comes.

Saten: Alrght, get in.

The three get in. They drive off in the half destoried car.

* * *

 _(Frank Sinatra's New York, New York plays)._

Glaze: What a magical city. Can we come back next year?

Saten _(wild eyed)_ : _(garbage hits him in face)._

Saten _(tranquil fury)_ : We'll see sis. We'll see.

* * *

 **I'll end the season here.. Not sure where else to go from here..**


	41. EPISODE 7:

**Saw South Park episode.. It was hilarious, and want to use it..**

 _ **DITTO as SARGENT HARRIS YATES**_

 _ **SATEN TWIST as KYLE BROFLOVSKI**_

 _ **MASTER SWORD as ERIC CARTMAN**_

 _ **DERPY as LIANE CARTMAN**_

 _ **PINKIE PIE as BUTTERS SCOTCH**_

 _ **TRIXIE as STAN MARSH**_

 _ **APPLEJACK as CRIAG**_

* * *

 _Master Sword's backyard, he's on the_ _edge of his roof wearing wings made from cardboard, a small crowd below him]_

Applejack: This won't work, your not a pegasus.

Sword: This WILL work AJ!

Trixie: It's not gonna work; just come down from there.

 _Sword: [assessing the situation]_ ...Jeez, this looks a lot higher from up here.

Saten Twist _[arrives in time to see Sword's attempt]:_ What's going on?

Pinkie: Master Sword thinks he can fly off of his roof.

BonBon: Yeah. He could die.

Trixie: Probably.

Saten: ... Do it! Do it Sword!

Sword: I'm gonna!

Trixie: I wouldn't if I were you. Those wings don't look very strong.

Saten _(gets camera out)_ : Don't listen to 'em, dude! I'm sure it'll work. Go for it!

Sword: Okay, here we go. _[steps forward and gets ready to launch himself]_ Since the days of Copernicus, man has dreamed of flight. On this historic day, we remember the Wright Brothers: Orville and Redenbacher, whose dreams and visions inspired generations. And now, again, one man's vision ushers in a new era of aerial travel, proving the power of imagination and intellect. The magic... of flight! _[he flaps his cardboard wings a few times to get some lift, then jumps off the roof. He heads straight for the ground and lands on his face with a grunt. Everyone is shocked, except Saten chuckles, who ends the recording]._

 _Saten:_ That was fun _(leaves)_

Awkward silence.

 _(Everyone awkwardly leaves one by one. Only Pinkie remains, and she turns to watch the others leave. After a few seconds of uncertainty, she leaves too.]_

* * *

HOSPITAL:

Derpy: Is my boyfriend gonna be okay!?

Doctor Hoof: Ma'am. I'm afraid that your boyfriend is... Incredibly stupid.. He thought he could fly with cardboard wings. The stupidity is so severe that it caused a fall, which has... Put him into a deep coma.

Derpy: Coma... My God, fo- for how long?

Doctor Hoof: There's no telling. He may never recover. We'll just have to wait. And see.

* * *

TIME PASS:

Sword is asleep, with a full beard grown.

Sword: Eugh... _[sits up, slowly opens his eyes.]_

Derpy: My god, your alive! _(hugs him)_

 _[the doctor and nurse return]_

Sword: Where am I?

Doctor Hoof: You're at the hospital, Master Sword. You've been in a coma for some time.

Sword: Coma... How long?

Doctor Hoof: It's been two days. Nurse, you can remove his face-warmer now.

Nurse Redheart: Yes, Doctor. _[said face-warmer reveals to be the assumed facial hair, which she pulls off]._

Doctor Hoof: Now, Master, you've suffered massive head trauma. Your road to recovery will be long and arduous. At least another two days.

* * *

TWO DAYS LATER:

Sword is eating soup in his hospital bed. His blonde hair all messy and uncombed, mostly from the bandages only half unwrapped.

Derpy: You're doing so much better, muffin.

Sword (angrily referring to other patients around him): Why the hell do I have to share my room with other patients?! This is bullcrap!

Derpy (hugs him): Oh, you're sounding just like your old self again.

Doctor Hoof: _[at another patient's bed]_ I'm sorry, detectives, there was nothing we could do.

Ditto: Damnit! Another murder victim! For three years the Left-Hand killer has been at large and I've exhausted every lead! Maybe... I just don't have what it takes to be a cop anymore.

Cop: We'd better get back to the station, sir.

Sword (annoyedly): Good, because you assholes have kept me up for three hours!

Ditto: All right, let's go Murphy... Hang on a second, where are, where are my car keys?

Sword (annoedly): Probably in your front pocket, dumbass!

Ditto: _[fishes around in the front shirt pocket and is surprised to find them there, then turns to the doctor] ..._ Doctor, didn't you say that kid suffered head trauma?

Doctor Hoof: Yes, it was pretty severe.

Murphy: What is it, Ditto?

Ditto: I've... Heard cases where people suffering head trauma awaken to some psychic abilities.

Murphy: Aw, come on, sir. That's silly.

Ditto: I know it's ridiculous, _[turns right and walks off]_ but I'm gonna explore every possibility I can! _[Murphy follows. They arrive at Master Sword's bed]_ Hello, young man, could we have a quick word with you?

Sword: Not now, the nurse is gonna walk in any minute with my lunch.

Redheart _(conviently comes in at that time)_ : Twelve-thirty, Master Sword. Lunch time. _[the officers are amazed at how timely the nurse came with the lunch]_

Ditto: ... Young man, how did you know the nurse was gonna walk in just now?

Sword: I don't know, I just knew it. _[receives the tray from the nurse and sniffs it, smelling Meatloaf]_ Aww man, this smells like meatloaf. Again?!

Redheart: Yep, meatloaf again. _(lifts top, revealing it to be meatloaf)._

 _[the officers get a little frightened]_

Murphy: Jesus, how did he...?

Ditto: Little boy... _[whispers to himself]_ Well it's a snowball's chance in hell but... _[back to Sword]_ We were wondering if you could come down and see if your... New powers could help us catch the killer.

Derpy: He doesn't ha-

Sword: Okay!

Derpy: _(grumbles annoyedly)_


	42. Chapter 42

_Local Park. A crime scene at the docks is shown, complete with police tape._

Shining Army _(as one of the cops)_ : All right, make sure you get pictures of everything in this crime scene. _[one officer takes pictures, another handles evidence gingerly. Sword walks in, holding a cane like Doctor House._

Officer 1: Who's the blonde?

Officer 2: He's supposed to be some kind of psychic.

Officer 1 (annoyedly): Aw, Christ!

Ditto: This is... where the body was found. _[overhead shot]_ Multiple stab wounds, just like all the others.

Derpy: How come the outline is missing its hand?

Ditto: The killer always cuts off the left hand of his victim, and keeps it as a trophy. _[Sword walks around the outline, inspecting it.]_

Shining Armor: Stand back, give him room! _[moves to hold the crowd back]_ Come on, Sword, concentrate! What do you see in your mind?

 _Sword begins to concentrate and his eyes begin to twitch. First he sees a cupcake with chocolate topping and sprinkles, then powdered doughnuts, then a cup of vanilla ice cream - with sprinkles being added._

Sword: I see... Ice cream. Covered with... chocolate sprinkles... _[he sees a hand holding Double-Stuff Oreo]_ Double-Stuff Oreos... _[a second hand comes up and twists off the lower cookie]_ He ... He's taking the top of one and... _[squeezes his eyes closed and sees another Oreo attached to the first one so there are two fillings between the cookies]_ ... And he puts it together to make Quadruple-Stuffs! _[the detective writes down what Sword is seeing]_ I see...ice cream, and sprinkles, and Quadruple-Stuffs!

Ditto: Jesus Christ!

Murphy: Sir?

Ditto: Tom Johansen, the owner of the ice cream shop!

* * *

 _Later that evening, Ditto, Mtuphy, and Shinning ring Tom's doorbell and he answers._

Tom Johansen: Yes? Oh, hello, detectives.

Dtto: Mr. Johansen, could we have a quick word with you?

Tom Johansen: Sure, come on in! _[he backs up and leads them in. The three-o detectives_ _tackle Tom Johansen once iside, Murphy tazes him]_ Code 6! Code 6!

Shining: Do it again! _[Murphy shocks Tom Johansen again, causing more convulsions]_

* * *

 _On the news, Police cars and vans have gathered outside and the siren lights are still rotating._

Ditto _(to news reporter):_ He put up a hell of a fight, but we got him!

Tom Johansen: Why?! WHY?! _[the officers haul him away]_

* * *

Ditto: Congratulations, Master Sword. You just stopped the biggest killer in South Park history.

Murphy: We would give you a reward, but I guess that knowing the people of South Park are safe again is reward enough.

Sword: Guess again.. _(holds outhand)_.

Murphy _[walks over and hands him some money]:_ All right, here's a hundred dollars.

Sword: Sweeet.

Ditto: You have strong powers, Take good care of them. Make sure you use the powers... for good.

Sword: Of coarse.

* * *

THE NEXT DAY:

Sword dances around Ponyville, bragging to anyone who would listen.

Saten _(Trixie and most of the main sic behind him) (angrily):_ Dude, what did you do?!

Sword: Oh, didn't you hear, Saten? I used my new psychic abilities to catch the serial killer. And I made a hundred bucks! _[shows off the money]_

Twilight _(also angry)_ : Nice old Mr. Johansen runs a candy shop! He wasn't a killer and you know it!

Sword: Ohhh? Then why did I see ice cream and cookies when I closed my eyes? Huh!?

Saten: Because your ALWAYS thinking of ice cream!

Sword: Do not doubt my powers, Saten!?

Saten: You don't have any powers!

Sword: Don't make me do it, Kyle! I can make your head explode with a single thought!

Pinkie (worried): Wuh be careful, Saten!

Saten (annoyed): He can't do crap!

Sword: Fine, Saten! You asked for it! Hee-at! _[closes his eyes and starts making sound effects and hand motions. Pinkie screams and flees, AJ and Fluttershy go to check on her, but the others don't move)._

Rainbow: Your embarressing yourself Sword.

 _Suddenly Ditto and Murphy run over._

Ditto: There he is! _[they approach him, he turns around]_ We've got a little problem.

Sword: What?

Dittp: While the ice-cream store owner was in jail, another murder was committed.

Murphy: This body also had a missing hand _and_ a bowl of corn flakes next to it!

Ditto: Which can only mean one thing!

Saten: Ha! You see?!

Ditto: That a copycat killer is on the loose! We need your psychic abilities to catch this new guy right away!

Saten: ... What?!

Murphy: We'll pay you up front this time! We've gotta catch this new guy before he kills again.

Sword: I'm afraid that my powers... are not for sale. ...And by that I mean they absolutely are for sale. Let's go!

* * *

CRIME SCENE:

Saten _(there with Trixie and Twilight):_ This is fuckin' ridiculous!

 _Shining: Whattaya got, wunderkind? Are ya seeing anything?_

 _Sword: No. Nothing._

Twilight: Yeah, sense when are Shinning Armor, Murply, and Ditto so god damn stupid!? Espically for Ditto.

Sword: Wait a minute. _[his right arm twitches and he sees a bucket of chicken, then sees some chicken served next to the powdered doughnuts he saw earlier. His eyes are squeezed tight.]_ Fried chicken! It's tender and it's fresh! _[sees some syrup poured onto the chicken]_ There's maple syrup... Maple syrup's being put on the chicken!

Saten: Yeah, I thought Ditto wa-

Michael Deets _[approaches the 3, wearing a robe and baseball cap, acting extremely supicious, and covered in blood]:_ They're never gonna catch the serial killer. He's too smart.. Do you want to three my cotton panties? _[whips open his robe to reveal himself dressed in a yellow bikini. Saten and the 2 girls are understandably shocked and a little afraid]_

Twilight (to the cops): Hey! What about this guy?!

Shinning: Quite sis. He's havin' a vision!

Sword: It _is_ fried chicken! _[first he sees a plate of fried chicken, then the maple syrup, then some whipped cream, then some chocolate syrup, then a cherry on top...]_ Oh my God. It's a fried chicken sundae!

Michael Deets. _[still next to Saten, Trixie, and Twilight] [brings out a mannequin torso and head and strikes up a conversation with it]_ "Junior, what are you doing out?" I'm sorry, Mother. "You come home right now and have sex with me!" No, Mommy! ... _[leaves]_

Trixie: Why have thing been so weird lately?

Saten _(referring to Deets):_ Hey officers, does anyone know who that guy is?!

Murphy: Be quite you little brat, or I'll have you arrested for interfering with the law!

Saten: _(sighs annoyedly)_

* * *

 **Their right.. Part of the joke is that being such a incompetent cop, is the exact opposite of how Ditto _normally_ is.. He's very smart.. However, he's also sadistic, short tempered, and dark humored.. Afterall, he _did_ start off a villain..**


	43. Chapter 43

Saten Twist knows that Sword is a fraud, and is frustrated by the police's stupidity. Knowing that weird man from before was Michael Deets, Saten follows Deets home and obtains fingerprints and blood samples. But is completely ignored by the police who regard Saten's "real evidence" as totally unreliable in the same manner real police are distrusting of supposed psychic detectives. Deciding he has to do something to stop the killer, Saten imitates Sword's attempted flight so that he passes into a coma, telling Trixie to make sure he's taken to the same hospital.

* * *

A bunch of "real" psychics cycle around Sword. Wanting to sue him for taking all their business.

To cover his tracks, Sword frames them all as suspects.

Reporter: Multiple arrests were made today for the murder of Hillary Neals. Police raided the Motel at 4 a.m., where seven psychic detectives were staying. _[footage of the arrests is shown. Two of them are beaten, a third is slammed against a squad car until the side of her head begins to bleed, and a fourth holds police at bay. He tries to fight them with his fake powers, but they simply open fire and kill him where he stands]_ The psychic detectives' horrible crime was found out by psychic detective Master Sword, _[Sword is in picture, shown in dramatic pose with psychic waves emanating from his forehead]_ who is now the only psychic not behind bars.. What an amazing coincidence.

Sword (watching TV): Coooool. _[the doorbell rings and Sword concentrates]_ Ah, Saten is at the door. Come in, Saten! _[the door opens and Michael Deets walks in, covered in blood]_ Who are you?

Michael Deets: You. You give everyone else credit for my work, because you fail to see my greatness.

Sword: ... 'Kay.

Michael Deets: Because of you, nobody knows the extent of my deeds.

Sword: Oh yeah. Awesome. Hold on, just a second. _[hops off the sofa, walks away a bit, and calls out]_ Derpy, there's some homeless guy here. Make him go awa-. _[Deets quickly advances and smothers Sword's face with a cloth, making Sword inhale chloroform and pass out.]_

* * *

 _Sword awaken in a dark unfinshed business. strapped down to a wheelchair._

Sword (scared): Hey. Hey, what's goin' on?!

Michael Deets (wearing that robe again): Welcome... You are obviously a big fan of my work.

Sword: Your wo- I don't even know you dude!

Michael Deets: But I am the serial killer! The one whose rightful place in history you have smirched!

Sword: (gulps)

Michael Deets: And now you will have a place of honor, as my nineteenth victim!

Sword: NO! NO PLEASE! Y You don't wanna kill me. Please, I'll give you anything you want!

Michael Deets: Before you die, let me show you the things that I've done, so you will understand the breadth of my transformation! _[starts up a slideshow projector]_ This... is me at the grand canyon. _[shows a shot of him there]_ Do you see? This is me at Mount Rushmore _[the next picture is shown, with him looking lovingly at the faces there]_ Do you see?!

Sword tearfully nodes.

Michael Deets (angrily): Do you see?!

Sword (tearfully): YES! yes, I see! _[another Mount Rushmore picture is shown, with Michael looking at the camera this time]_

Michael Deets: Here I am at the Alamo in San Antonio. Do you see? _[next slide, this time Deets has a slasher smle in the picture, with his hands ready to grab something]_ This was just outside of the gift shop. DO YOU SEE?!

Sword: AAAAAAAH!


	44. Chapter 44

Doctor Hoof: This is the young man here. He was in a coma for over sixteen hours. _[a shot of Saten with a bandage around his head. He too has the beard face warmer on, but no black eye like Sword had]_

Ditto: Doctor, could you remove his face warmer? We'd like to speak with him.

Doctor Hoof:

Of course. [ _removes the warmer. Saten awakens]._

Ditto: Hello Saten, it's me Ditto.. The doctor said you've had some... visions about our newest murder?

Saten: ... I see a man.. with a baseball cap. _[Ditto snaps his fingers and Murphy whips out a notepad and pen, as Saten hoped, they fall for it]_ Oh, I see it.. The guy's name is Michael Deets, and he lives at 621 Castillo Street. He's usually there between seven and eleven p.m.

Ditto: What do you think, Mitch?

Murphy: I don't know. I mean, this boy is certainly no Master Sword . _[Saten clenches his teeth in rage] But_ we'll check this Deets guy out. But let's use that one thing that we never use.

Ditto: True, and we're use ... What's that one thing that starts with an R that we never use?

Murphy...Restraint?

Ditto: Yeah, yeah, restraint. We'll check this guy out, but let's use some restraint. _[they leave]_

* * *

 _Skips back Michael Deets' unfinished basement. He's still showing Sword his slides._

Michael Deets: Look! Look at the things I've done! Here I am at Yellowstone National Park! _[shows off the picture]_ Do you see?! Here are pictures of my trip to Cheyenne for Frontier Days. DO YOU SEE?!

Sword: Oh, God! I'm so bored! Somebody help me! _[the doorbell is heard. The two detectives are outside, Ditto ringing the doorbell._

Ditto: Remember Sargent. Restraint.

Murphy: Yes sir.

[ _Michael Deets opens the door]_

Ditto: Good evening, sir. We're from the police. We were just wondering if we could take a quick look around your house, Misterrr...

Michael Deets: ... God.

Ditto: Well, Mr. God, it won't take but a second; it might help us with an investigation. _[Michael shows them in. The house is dark, with stacks of paper everywhere. Pictures of his victims line the walls. Downstairs, Sword, gagged, tries to get attention desperetly.]_

Ditto _(not hearing)_ : I see you like cutting the eyes out of photos of women. I use to be a big fan of that, too.. Before marrying Luna.

Michael Deets: Yes.. Pretty woman.

Murphy: Chief! In here! _[Ditto runs into the next room. They both face a wall of left hands nailed in place]_

Ditto: Jesus H... That boy was right! Arrest that guy! _[Murphy gets right on it]._ Whoa-whoa-wait-wait-hey-wait-wait-yo! Oh, wait a minute, no ah, I'm wrong.

Murphy: Sir?

Ditto: This isn't the guy. The serial killer always cuts off the victims' _left_ hands.

Murphy: So?

Ditto: Well those aren't left hands. _[holds up his own left hand, palm in]_ See, on your left hand, the thumb faces to the left. Those are all right hands.

Murphy: Ohhh. _[they return to the living room]_

Ditto: Nope, this isn't our man. _[they turn to leave the house and see Michael Deets in the shadows]_ We're sorry, Mr. God. It appears we've wasted your time. _[they head out]_

* * *

OUTSIDE:

Murphy: Heh, pretty amazing coincidence that guy had a bunch of hands on his wall. Heh, no wonder that boy thought he was a killer.

Ditto: _[stops and thinks]_ Yeah... Amazing coincidence... _(lifts his left hand, seeing it can turn to look right handed, making for a obvious expernation of what happened)_.

Murphy: Ditto? What is it?

Ditto: I'm not sure. I'm gonna have to run some tests... _[runs off to do just that]_

* * *

 _Montage. Ditto types away at his computer, then analyzes his left hand again, then returns to the keyboard. He then goes to the lab and looks over his notes. Next to him are two hands, one right and one left. He rotates the right hand so both thumbs point to the left, from his POV, then takes more notes. He develops some pictures in the darkroom and finds matching hands. He works with a 3D model drawing with another computer, then traces his left hand on a wall and takes measurements. He returns to the lab and works with some chemicals. Next he chops some firewood into smaller chunks. Next he's at a gym jumping rope. Next he's at a beach playing volleyball with some women. Next he's repairing the body of a car with a welding torch..._

* * *

Luna is seen reading a book at her house.

Ditto: (walks bye) ... Honey, do you remember what I was supposed to be doing?

Luna: I don't know, something about hands.

 _Ditto: [snaps his fingers]_ Oh right! The hands! Right!

* * *

 _[the montage resumes._ _Again he goes to his computer and types away then he's back at the lab taking pictures of the two fake hands there, then makes silhouettes of a dog, then models another hand in the computer and gets a match._

Ditto: Got it!

* * *

THAT EVENING, BACK IN THE BASEMENT:

Michael Deets: That's it, no more pictures. _[walks in front of Sword and faces him, then pulls out a sharp knife]_ Time to die.

Sword (tearfully): No, please! I'm sorry I gave other people credit for your killings. Ahah, it was, it was very wrong for me to lie about the other psychics and get them arrested.

Michael Deets: Your hand will be one with the others.

Sword: Please just let me go! Ah, I'm gonna tell everyone I'm not really psychic! I've learned my lesson! Please, I don't wanna- _[spots Ditto and Murphy sneaking down] ..._ I don't wanna have to use my psychic mind missile on you! _[begins to concentrate and make noises]_

Michael Deets: What are yo-

Ditto _(him and Murphy point police issue Glock17s)_ : Hold it right there, killer! _[Michael Deets turns and rushes at them with the knife. Ditto and Murphy fire four shots into him, killing him. The detectives advance, and Ditto for no appearent reason Ditto fires a 5 shot into his offview corpse, getting blood all over him._

 _Ditto: (looks around, and fires a sixth shot, getting more blood splattered on himself, again for no appearent reason.]_

Sword: ... You got here just in time. He was gonna kill me because he was insanely jealous of my incredible psychic ability.


	45. Chapter 45

**Here's best of Ditto.. If anyone is curious how he "normally" behaves..**

 **Read THE STORY OF DITTO and DITTO RETURNS to find out Ditto's backstory and stuff.. As well as his connection to little Scootaloo..**

 **Ditto's age is unconfirmed.. But implied to a few centeries old..**

 **Basically.. He was a sadistic villain who managed to redeem, but he still has much of his sadism.. Celestia made him a cop, to give him a use for said sadism.. Which can often make Ditto a pretty _dark_ character, espically for MLP.. But we love him for it.. **

* * *

**SATEN TWIST - SEASON 3:**

Shining: Boss, can you send this letter to the cakes instead of Twilight.

Ditto: I don't send letters, that's YOUR job.

Shining: I can't let her see me wait yet.

Ditto: Fine, whatever.. (takes the letter).

Shining: Your probably wondering why.

Ditto: Actually. I'm wondering why your not workiing wait now.. I don't pay you to stand around.

Shining: Well.. Me and Cadence are having baby.

Ditto: That's great, but please get to wor-

Shining: And we don't want Twilight knowing.

Ditto: I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW!

Shining: She will still find out.. But not yet

Ditto: This is why I never promote you.

Shining: But we plan on giving Twilight a surprise party over it.

Ditto: Are you even listening to me?

Shining: Glad you understand Chief.. Have a good trip.

Ditto: (facepalm)

* * *

 **SATEN TWIST - SEASON 3:**

Ditto: (to crowd) Listen.. You all need to leave!

Mustache Crystal Pony: Did I mention this was a _Royal_ Crystalling? When the crystaller holds the young one aloft, all of the Empire will share their joy and light, and the Crystal Heart will beat stronger than it ever has before!

Ditto: Yeah, yeah, I know how it goes. But you can't st-

Stubborn Pony: It really is a moving ceremony!

Ditto: I DON'T CAR-

Stubborn Pony 2: Maybe you _changelings_ don't understand the the importance of this.

Ditto: Change... Look, EVERYONE makes mistakes!.. Can we just FORGET about that!

Stubborn Pony 2: Whatever.. Changeling.

Ditto: (growls angrily) One more word out of you, and I'll break your spine in hal-

Shining: (holds Ditto back) Listen to me.. Cadence is evacuating the area! You don't have a choice.

* * *

 **SATEN TWIST - SEASON 2:**

Scootaloo Is caught in a dream, and cornered by the headless horse when suddenly it is magically zapped away and someone from canterlot warmly greeted her.

scootaloo: ... D- Ditto?

Ditto: Yep.. Luny was busy so she sent me instead. Plus Celestia is trying to lose a bit of weight and dosen't want there for it.

Scootaloo: Really?.. What did you do?

Ditto: Nothing. I did nothing.

Scootaloo: (unconvinced)

Ditto: (sighs) _one_ little fat joke..

Scootaloo: She didn't take it so well huh?

Ditto: Well.. I'm here.

Scootaloo: (laughs)

Ditto: Yeah, yeah.. But anyway. Your scared of something.. Is it liking a boy?

Scootaloo: Noo.. I, I'm Afried Rainbow Dash won't think I'm as cool as she thought.

Ditto: Everyone has fears sweetie.. But facing them makes us stronger.. But if you don't, the nightmares will only get worse.

* * *

 **CUPCAKES SPOOF:**

Pinkamena: (being strapped to an electric chair).

Ditto: Okay Pinkamena.. For 218 accounts of murder... And other crimes that seem minor compared to 218 accounts of murder., electricity will be passed though your body until dead... Any last words?

Pinkamena: I, I know Jesus has forgiven me..

Ditto: ... Your joking right?

Pinkamena: (sniffs tearfully) No!

Ditto: (pulls the switch).

However, everyone forgot to wet sponge and Pinkamena dies an unnaturally painful and grousome death, to the point her head literary explodes.

Ditto: ... I suddenly want BBQ, dose anybody else BBQ?

* * *

 **SWEET APPLE MASSACRE SPOOF:**

Ditto, Shining Armor and several other officers finally reached Ponyville but still couldn't find Big Mac yet.

Ditto decided to ask someone if they seen Big Mac and saw a fellow pony named Tom Foolery traveling and decided to fly over to him.

"Hello" Ditto greeted Tom.

"Oh hey.. It's the famish one" Tom said back.

"If you say so" Ditto said modestly.

"Say.. Aren't you chief of police now?" Tom asked.

"I.. Guess" Ditto said, still modestly.

"What brings you to ponyville. All out of donuts in canterlot?" Tom joked, and suddenly a laugh track was suddenly heard.

"... What the hell was that!?" Ditto cried, hearing the laughter.

"Sorry. Can't get rid of them" Tom admitted.

"Whatever.. We're looking for Big Mac. Stop him before murders more people" Ditto replied making anouther laugh track.

"Wait, how is that funny!?" Ditto cried.

"They think EVERYTHING is funny sir" Tom groaned.

Anouther laugh track is heard.

"See" Tom groaned.

"Anyway.. I'm afraid I don't know where he is sir. But hope you get him. He killed Saten Twist and now I'll NEVER get the money he owed me" Tom admitted, making anouther laugh track be heard much to Ditto's annoyance.

"Yes, that always sucks dosen't it" Ditto chuckled, making the audience laugh even harder, and giving Ditto twice the annoyance.

Anyway. Sorry to bother you" Ditto said, flying off.

* * *

Ditto reached back to the other officers.

"You find out anything sir?" One of ponies asked.

"Sadly no, but we are running out of time... Where's my lead captain!?" Ditto cried.

Shining Armor, the said lead Captain ran into view.

"Here I am sir. Right. Indeed. Here. Indeed. Yes I am. Sir!" Shining Armor cried, giving a solute.

"We have to hurry up and find Big Mac.. After all. He thinks he can just murder three people and get away with it!?" Ditto cried out.

"Yes. I wouldn't bet a corn farthering on his escaping sir. No, not a corn farthering I'd indeed sir" Shining Armor replied, in a weird way of saying it.

"... Your still drunk aren't you?" Ditto groaned.

"Yes I am sir. Drunk from the party. Yes. From the the party. Indeed I am sir. Drunk from the party. Sir!" Shining replied.

* * *

 **SWEET APPLE MASSACRE:**

"Big Macintose. You are under arrest for the murders of... Shit. They didn't give me there names" Ditto said.

"Well.. Actually. Cadence gave me the names of the victims before we left" The unnamed police pony admitted.

Ditto turned over to the unnamed police pony saying "well you could of tol-

Before the sentence was finished Big Mac seized the distraction and punched Ditto hard enough that the alicorn fell down on his face.

The unnamed police pony open fired on Big Mac but Big Mac barrel rolled against the ground, dodging the bullets and then grabbed his double barrel.

Big Mac was quick enough that he shot the unnamed police pony in the face, killing him instantly.

Ditto angrily runs over to Big Mac shoots Ditto in the gut, making Ditto fall to the ground in pain.

"DITTOO!" Screamed Scootaloo, and she tried running over to him, but the Big assho- I mean, Mac, pointed the gun at her, telling her "Stay, put, you little runt".

Whimpering in fear, Scootaloo stayed put.

"Leave her alone!" Ditto growled.

"No way., she's been annoying me all day. She's first!" Big Mac said, in dark humor.

"NO!"

"Too late!" Big Mac laughed, and prepared to kill Scootaloo wait then and there.

But suddenly Ditto had a huge adrenaline rush, and ignoring the pain in his chest, he sprinted towards Big Mac.

Before Big Mac knew what hit him, Ditto grabs him, breaks his arm, and smashes his face into a tree, knocking out a tooth, and leaving B.M. unconscious.

"You were saying?"

* * *

A few days later. Big Mac was violently thrown into his prison cell by Ditto.

"These court people are wimps. If it were up to me, your be hung by now" Ditto said to the prisoner.

"Yeah, fuck you two!" Big Mac mocked.

Ditto was in no mood and punched Big Mac's still broken arm, causing Big Mac severe pain.


	46. Chapter 46

**Back to the episode:**

* * *

AT THE HOSPITAL:

Saten is in the bed, Trixie, Derpy, Sword, Doctor Hoof, Nurse Redheart, Ditto, and Murphy are around him.

Ditto: Well Saten, you did an amazing thing. Not only did your psychic visions help us catch the killer, but a lot of innocent people are out of jail.

Tom Johansen: Yes, thank you very much, Mr Twist.

Female Psychic: Yes, thanks.

Murphy: You're certainly a better psychic then Master.

Saten: No, don't you see? Sword never _had_ psychic visions. And neither do these people. The plain simple truth is that nobody is psychic. There's a logical explanation for every psychic story you've ever heard.

Murphy: Do you think that's true?

Ditto: It must be true. The kid is psychic. _[thinks a moment]_ But I don't suppose it really matters much. Because in the end, the way I caught the killer was with... good old-fashioned police work. Come on, Murphy. _[they leave the room and then the hospital]_

Female Psychic: _[addressing Sword]_ Well young man, I guess that just leaves one score to settle.

Sword: You can't hurt me.

Male Psychic: Then let this be our final battle! _[the psychics face Sword once again and battle him with their fake power. Sword back to them. Nothing happens, but there's a lot of noise.]_

 _Saten: [irritated]_ Just stop it! _[at the top of his lungs]_ STOOOP IIIIT! _[the lights go out as the bulbs shatter, then the shelf above his bed falls and everything on it hits the floor. The psychics and Sword stop their battle look at Saten in shock.]_

Saten: ... T -There's a logical explanation for that.

* * *

 **END OF EPISODE:**

 **Planning on another GTA crossover.. Gotta ask, what would Carly and them think of Sword.. Considering he's not excatly the most "rational" person they would ever meet.. In fact, it's often implied Master Sword isn't _"all there"_ , mentally..**

 **All of Saten's crew have villainous traits to them.. But Sword can often be the "most" villainous.. Kinda the point to him.. Him being held by Michael Deets, we could only feel a _little_ sympathy for him. As it's also one of the only times Sword sems to get actually punished, **


	47. Chapter 47

**Might as well continue for a bit I figured to myself.**

* * *

Wanting a RV.

goes to a RV store to buy one of his own, but because of his poor credit rating, he is only qualified for a smaller dilapidated.

Pony: You're never gonna own a better RV. I don't mean that in a good way. I mean literally. This is it for you, you know? It's this or a wagon.

Saten: Jee, I don't know.

Pony: You look like a man who can make a decision. I know your buy this. Why? Because I heard somebody tell me you "can't".

Saten (angrlily): I'll show him! (buys the RV).

* * *

Thrilled with the new RV, Saten takes Trixe, Derpy and Dinky on on an excursion, despite them not even wanting to go.

Driving on remote back roads and ignoring everyone's suggestion to turn back on the main road, he ends up teetering over a precipice. The gang escape before the RV plummets over the cliff and explodes, leaving them stranded in the wilderness with no food or supplies.

Saten: Do not worry, I'm an experienced woodsman Now you all stay here while I go over this way and try to get my bearings.. _(goes away from earshot)_ What am I gonna do? I've murdered us all! (echo) I've murdered us all! I've murdered us all! ... Uh oh.

* * *

After Saten ineptly builds a crude lean-to shelter, he and Dinky set out for help. The other two stay behind, and manage to build a more sturdy shelter and start a fire despite knowing nothing about camping.

* * *

Saten and Dinky lose their clothes during a fall into a raging river, but hide their nakedness with leaves and mud. After a frigid night's sleep, Saten tries to steal honey from a beehive, only to be attacked by the bees, but evades them by jumping into a mud pit. A nature photographer takes a picture of Saten Twist covered in mud and unable to talk from all the honey, mistaking him for Bigfoot, and soon the forest is inundated with Bigfoot enthusiasts and reward seekers.

* * *

Derpy and Trixie are rescued, and Trixie identifies the _monster_ as her husband, thus adding to the conspiracy.

Saten Twist is soon captured and taken to a lab for testing. The authorities allow Saten to return home after scientists agree that he is "either a below-average person or a brilliant beast." While watching the news coverage of the whole debacle, Saten worries about being mocked by Master Sword, until Trixie consoles him, calling him "my brilliant beast.", and kisses his cheek.


	48. Chapter 48

**Here's a Halloween episode in the spirit of October..**

* * *

Due to using a lot of Simpson episodes lately, this is no different.

So a local criminal robs Glaze's store. But the cops are called on him. He swears revenge on the 3 people present. Saten Twist, Spike, and the bartender from an earlier Maggie Smith. Saten's bartender friend who took over Moe's role _Flaming Moe's._ It's honestly one of the few times she done something selfish. and even than Saten forgave her serprisingly fast in the end.

The criminal is put on the electric chair, which for some reason is seen more as a game show, than a excution. But the criminal is killed legally.

The criminal's lucky hat is later bought by Master Sword. Who becomes possessed by the spirit which somehow took over the hat.

First he goes to Maggie's bar. Who realizes what happened and becomes scared, but possessed Sword rips her heart out with corkscrew. Most of the costumers somehow think is a halloween prank. Despite being November.

* * *

Later he finds Saten Twist, who insists the writers won't kill him off as he's the name of the series. However, the possessed Sword rips out his heart with the same corkscrew, and Saten somehow survives. Barely though. So Sword pushes him lightly off a cliff they were standing above.

* * *

Scared, Spike requests protection. Against Spike's better judgement Master Sword is the only option.

Sword locks them both in Spike's bedroom to keep Spike safre. But the spirit takes over, so Sword attacks Spike with a nearby fireaxe.

Fortantely Sword manages to fight though and rip off the hat just as cops burst in. The hat somehow gets up on it's own. And the cops gun it down.

It ends on a pun. Which somehow makes light about the fact two people are still dead.

* * *

Saten Twist is seen trying to get access to heaven, but his credit cards expired.

Maggie is confused about how she's mocked more for being lesbian up in heaven, than she was when she was alive. Espically cause she's the least sterotypical gay character ever.

Well, maybe a little. She's very tomboy.. Probably why her and Saten Twist get along.


	49. Chapter 49

**Here's 4 of my favorite Treehouse of Terror skits..**

* * *

#1:

Master Sword Dinky, and Derpy are employed as caretakers at a mansion. However the caretaker cuts the cable television wire and confiscates the beer, thinking this will ensure hard work from the family. While there the groundskeeper discovers that Dinky has power to read thoughts and says that if his Sword goes more insane than usual, that she should should use this to summon him. Dinky is confused about this, but the groundskeeper doesn't add anything more.

* * *

Sword goes to turn on the TV but finds static.

Sword: (calmly) Hmm, cables out.. Maybe I'll have a beer, annnnd there's no beer in here, haha, how lovely.

Derpy: Sword, wow, your taking this very we-

Sword: I'll kill you! I'LL KILL ALL OF YO-

Derpy: Sword!

Sword: Kidding, kidding, maybe I'll check out that axe cellection.. See you later (leaves).

Dinky: Mom, your boyfriend gonna kill us?

Derpy: Guess we're have to wait see.

* * *

Sword goes down to the bar, where a ghost drops all settlty and tells Sword he must kill the girls.

* * *

Derpy goes to check on Sword to see he wrote "no TV no beer make Master Sword crazy." And Sword himself bursts into the room, Derpy screams.

Sword: _(eerily calm)_ So, what do you think, baby? All I need is a title. I was thinking of something along the lines of "No TV and no beer make Sword..." something something.

Derpy:: _(nervous)_ ..."Go Crazy"?

Sword:: _(hysterically)_ DON'T MIND IF I DO! _(goes on a wacky rant)_

 _(Derpy screams and smashes open a case labeled "Break glass in case of boyfriend's insanity" and grabs the baseball bat within)._

Derpy: Stay away from me!

Sword: _(chases Derpy up some stairs)_ Give me the bat, Derpy. Gimme the bat. Gimmethebat! Come on! Gimmethebat! Gimme the bat! Gimmi the batbat whoo! Ha ha ha! Scaredy cat! _(makes scary face)_ Bleaahhh... _(sees himself in a mirror)_ AAAAAHH! _(falls down the stairs, knocking himself out; Marge leaves his unconscious body locked in a pantry)_

Derpy: You stay here til your no longer insane. (locks him in).

* * *

Sword is seen eating a bunch of stuff in the pantry is back to himself eating happily until a bunch of ghouls drag him back out of the pantry.

* * *

Derpy and Dinky are enjoying dinner.

(Sword chops through a door with an axe)

Sword: Heeeere's Johnny! _(the camera pulls back to reveal an empty room)_ Dammit!

(Sword chops through a second door)

Sword: Daaaaavid Letterman! _(wrong room again)._

Abe: Hi David, I'm Grampa!

 _(Sword chops through a third door)_

Sword: (holding a ticking stopwatch) I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley. All this and Andy Rooney tonight on 60 Minutes! (evil smile)

The girld: Aaaaah! (they get up and start running, Dinky uses his powers to summon the Groundskeepers, who immediately runs to the family's rescue, abandoning his portable television in the snow in the process. However Sword easily kills him by striking him in the back with the axe.

Derpy: Oh my, I hope that carpet is scotch-guarded.

Sword pursues the girls outside but as he is about to kill them, Dinky discovers the abandoned television. And shows it.

Dinky: Sword look!

Sword: Television! Teacher! Mother! _Secret lover_... Urge to kill fading...fading...fading... _(family approaches)_ RISING!...fading...fading...gone.

(The girls sigh in relief).

Sword: Come family.

* * *

They end up frozen there.

TV: And now the Tony awards.

Derpy (frozen): Sword, change it!

Sword: Can't, frozen!

(they all scream as the Tony awards begin).

Sword: Urge to kill.. Rising.

* * *

#2:

Saten Twist's hammock collapses while he is taking a nap. He purchases a new one from a passing vendor, who warns him that it carries a curse. Disregarding this, Saten lies down and discovers that the new hammock can produce clones of anyone who rests on it. He inspects the first clone and notices that it does not have a belly button.

He makes clones to do all of his chores, which include helping Trixie choose an outfit, playing with Dinky, and dong housechores.

The clones are far less intelligent that him. Glaze asks for help chainsawing some trees, so Saten sends a clone. Who later returns, showing off Glaze's decapitated head and happily showing it off, scaring Saten.

Taking it as a sign this is getting out of hand, Saten abondons the clones in acornfield. Asking if any remember the way home. A few raise there hands, and Saten shoots them with a gun he brought. Leaving the rest, as well as the magic hammock.

However, the clones use the abandoned hammock to make an army of Saten Twist clones.

The clones attacks Ponyville and destroys all of its buildings, except for Maggie's bar, which reports record business.

The pony army officials gather in the Mayor's War Room, and determine that the clones will eat up all of Equestria within a few days. Derpy thinks of a solution to solve the problem, after getting the idea from Saten himself, who became upset when he found an empty doughnut box.

* * *

Helicopters hook gigantic doughnuts on cables and lure the clones to their deaths.

* * *

In the end, Trixie is shocked to find that the Saten Twist she went home with is a clone, and the real Saten Twist appearently was the first to jump off the cliff.

Trixe freaks, until the clone gives her a backrub.

Trixie: Oh well.

* * *

#3:

Derpy sees every muffin store closed. And states that he would sell his soul for a muffin. The devil himself appears and offers her a contract to seal the deal.

Derpy: Hey, wait. If I don't finish this last bite, you don't get my soul, right?

The Devil: Well, technically no...

Derpy (singsong) I'm smarter than the de-vil! I'm smarter than the de-vil!

The Devil: (morphs from normal to Chernabog) YOU ARE NOT SMARTER THAN ME! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL YET, DERPY HOOVES! (shrinks and disappears)

Derpy: Pfft, yeah right.

* * *

Unfortunately, while half-asleep and looking for a midnight snack, Derpy eats the final piece of the "forbidden donut", and Lucifer instantly reappears to take possession of her soul. But Glaze was there and pleads with the devil, finally getting Lucifee to agree to hold a trial the next day. Until then, Derpy is sent to spend the rest of the day being punished in Hell.

Her first punishment is to be strapped down and force-fed "all the doughnuts in the world!".

 _(a machine begins force-feeding Derpy muffins two at a time; the scene fades to several hours later: the wall of donuts are gone, the machine is still force-feeding a bloated but smiling Derpy.. and she's still going)_

Derpy: More!

Demon: _(frustrated)_ I don't understand it! James Coco went mad in fifteen minutes.

* * *

#4:

Glaze, Trixie, and Derpy are kidnapped by aliens. The aliens explain that they are taking the girls to their home planet on Rigel IV, "a world of infinite delights," for a 'feast'.

En route they present the ladies with enormous amounts of food and watch eagerly as they gorge themselves, then check their weights.

Suspicious of the alien's intentions, Trixie sneaks into the kitchen and finds a book titled _How To Cook Ponys_. She takes the book and confront the aliens, who explain to her that part of the title was obscured by space dust, which they then blow away to reveal the title _How To Cook **For** Ponys_. Glaze, skeptical at this, blows off more space dust, revealing the title to be _How To Cook **Forty** Ponyss_. The aliens blow off the last of the space dust, finally revealing the real title _How To Cook **For** Forty Ponys_.

The aliens reveal they simply wanted to serve them some food, that was all. And that the mistrust even made the cook cry.

They return them to Earth, explaining that they simply wanted to take them to a paradise on the aliens' home planet. But now they ruined their chance.

* * *

 **I was also gonna add "Dial Z for Zombie", but decided against it.. As well as the Drucala one.. The one with the school cannibals.. And t** **he Freddy Krueger one..**

 **I might still do the one where the house wants Marge.. Plus BalorBabe requested one..**


	50. Chapter 50

**I saw a episode not too long ago, and want to use it.**

* * *

So Scootaloo, the little orange filly with purple hair and brown eyes is seen riding the school bus with Sweetie Belle and AppleBloom. The sisters of Rarity and AppleJack. AppleBloom is yellow with ginger hair. Swwetie Belle is white with green eyes, her hair is a little harder to describe.

Anyway, suddenly the bus falls out of control and crashes into a truck. Scootaloo wakes up screaming. Revealed to be on Rarty's couch. As AppleBloom likely had the guest bedroom. Why they slept at Rarity's is anyone's guess, besides there friendship to Belle.

At breakfast Scootaloo is seen shaking at the breakfast table.

"What's wrong?" AppleBloom asked.

"I invisioned my own death." Scootaloo said still shaking.

"Annnd?" AppleBloom asked.

"Darling, please, she obviously had a nightmare." Rarity said.

Suddenly a airhorn blows, scaring Scootaloo.

"Hey, look what I bought at a yard sale." Pinkie Pie said from the window, and blows it again.

* * *

Getting on the bus, Scootaloo is shocked to see her teacher Cheerliee riding with them. Saying her car is being prepared. Coarse they wouldn't ride cars in the show, but you know, dfferent universe.

Appearently this also happened in the dream, so Scootaloo took this as a sign.

Scootaloo is anxious the whole ride. She looks out the window to see a lizard like creature climb on the bus. A gremlin. Scootaloo understandaby freaks out. Telling the bus driver there's a monster outside. The driver looks out, only to see Grannysmith.

"No problem." The driver said and rams into GrannySmith. Who twirls around and crashes down a hill. Her car somehow unscratched.

Grannysmith: Phew, for a second there I tho- (suddenly the car explodes for no appearent reason).

* * *

Scootaloo continues to see the Gremlin. Eventually she grabs a flair gun and opens a window with it.

Pinkie (drives bye): Hey Scoot (blows the horn, drives past).

Scootaloo swings the flaire at the gremlin. But it pulled back, before she is she manages to throw it at the Gremlin, lighting it up and knocking it off the bus.

Fluttershy happened to be walking bye, and the Gremlin falls in front of her.

Fluttershy being Fluttershy wraps it in a blanket and hugs it. The Gremlin visably annoyed.

* * *

Cheerliee and the students do in fact see the bus scratched up.

"Look at the bus! I was right I tell you!" Poor Scootaloo cried, wrapped in a straight jacket and being carried to a mental hospital ambulance.

"Right or wrong your behavior was still distructive. Maybe some time in a mental hospital were calm you down." Cheerliee said. Better than the harsh life sentence Skinner gave bart.

The ambulance drrives away.

* * *

"Well, at least I can get some peace and quite." Scootaloo said, trying to rest on the stretcher.

Suddenly the Gremlin reappears on the back window, smirking and tapping to get her attention. Once it does, it holds up Flutterahy's decapitated head. Who somehow manages to greet her.

Scootaloo: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!


	51. Chapter 51

**Here's one story from Hardrocker21. The Freddy Krueger one...**

 **He mentioned Ganger, which is a villain from THE STORY OF DITTO.**

 **Which might make this interesting. Techinally Ganger was a "Karma-Houdini", he was never punished for his actions, he basically got away basically scott-free.. So this story will probably be satifying..**

 **But first.. A summary for those who need it..**

* * *

 _The story of Ditto actually consists of 2 stories.._

 _In story 1, Ganger seems less evil, and the readers can somewhat sympathise with him, due to being turned into an Changeling against his will. But he still has fairly villainous scenes. Most notably, is when he nearly turns Rainbow Dash into a changeling, and calls her a bitch._

 _But in Story 2, Ganger is far less sympathised by the readers. Leaving it questionable if he "ever was"._

 _He wants revenge on the now redeemed Ditto for kidnapping and turning him into a changeling. But his plans for doing so involve kidnapping little Scootaloo, after finding out that the little filly is one of the few things Ditto ever truly cared about anymore._

 _Ganger discovers Scootaloo's location, while the filly is hanging with Rainbow Dash. And when Rainbow discovers Ganger's intentions of taking her beloved sister figure, Dash falls into "papa wolf mode" and defends Scootaloo by giving one of the stories largest fight scenes. But in the end Ganger DOSE get Scootaloo, but only because he doesn't play 100% fairly._

 _Later, Ganger reveals the captured Scootaloo towards Ditto, as a tempt to get Ditto to give himself up. However Celestia, who was there as well, remembers Ganger as one of her loyal guards that went M.I.A, and tries to reason with him. But Ganger ignores her, angering Celestia into a firing spell at him, but it hits one of his minions instead, despite being a non fatal spell it ends up being the reason for the minions death, due to it causing an chain reaction of injuring towards the minion._

 _Angered by the death, Ganger begins an attack on Ditto and the princess, and after an intense battle. Ganger nearrly klling Ditto. And one of Ganger's minions accidantally drops Scootaloo (who can't fly)._

 _Ganger is outnumbered when all the guards come to defend Celestia, and he has to leave. His fate unknown._

 _Until now (Mwahahaha)._

* * *

So after kidnapping Scootaloo, trying to kill Ditto and Celestiam and causing mass panic most likely.

Ganger, still a changeling, ends up working as a janitor at Scootaloo's school ironically enough. But during a cold day, someone touches the heater against Ganger's warning. And Ganger is horribly and brutally burnt, but all the fire extrinster and water are dry. So he runs to a school meeting screaming for help, but is simply ignored as the meeting continues. Ganger simply just finds a seat and waits til after.

But a few seconds into it, Ganger is horribly killed by the flames still covering him. And he swears revenge against all the kids (who were innocent of this), by entering their dreams, and finally dies. Even cleaning up his own ashes somehow.

* * *

When Scootaloo is asleep Ganger does indeed appear in her dream. Fully commiting to the Freddy Krueger plot, and dressing up like him. He makes a pun and than a dramatic laugh before swings a rake at her, making her wake up screaming, and finding an actual scar left on her body where he dream scratched her.

* * *

Everyone at school admits having dreams of Ganger. And at class Silver Spoon finishes a test early and falls asleep. But what starts as a normal dream ends with Freddy/Ganger appears, and strangeling her with a supernatural tongue. Spoon suffers the effects in real life and dies in class _(honestly, Martin dream choking always kinda disturbed me, not even sure if it was meant as a joke)._

* * *

Eventually the crusaders realize what's happening and try to stay awake to avoid dreaming, but eventually decide to go to sleep and dream fight Ganger.

Scootaloo falls asleep as the other two promise to watch from the real world. But as Scoot and Ganger fight, turns out they also fell asleep. But Ganger falls into quicksand. Only to reappear later as a giant spider. But than an accorn falls off a tree and clogs Ganger's spider form, causing Ganger to explode.

* * *

The next day, everything is back to normal, but AppleBloom is still worried that Ganger still might be out in the world somewhere, waiting to kill them in ways they can't imagine.

A bus then stops in front of them, allowing the normalized Ganger to get off where he makes a few pathetic attempts to scare the children with scary faces, before the bus takes off, Gangee chases after it (forgetting he could fly) because he left his gun on one of the seats. But while chasing the bus, another one crashes into him. Flattening him like a pancake.


	52. Chapter 52

**Here's one from BalorBabe.. After that I should probably stop the story from there.. Should focus on the other stories.. This was just a bit of fun I was having, none of it was canon obviously..**

* * *

Saten Twist and Trixie end up moving. Their friend Glaze wanting to live with them as a house guest. Saten Twist's ex girlfriend, AppleJack, also tags along. Her and Trixie on good terms now. Even kinda sibling like, just as Saten is with Glaze.

Saten signs the deed, but underpays, the seller sarcastically sayin "I'm glad this place is cursed". But Saten ignores this

* * *

Almost immediately AppleJack scared there is an evil presence lurking in the house, though Saten says there is nothing to worry about, despite there being a vortex in the kitchen. Glaze seconds this, before she throws an orange into the vortex just to see what happens, although the ones who live in the vortex throw it out with a note that asks them not to throw stuff into it.

When they all clean up, the house throws something at AJ, who accuses Saten. who denies it.

 _VOICE: Get.. Out.._

"What was that!?" AppleJack cried.

"Probably just the wind, don't worry about it." Trixie insisted.

* * *

When everyone tries to settle into sleep, the house brainwashes everyone (minus Trixie) to kill each other. Luckily Trixie intervenes.

The family then finds out there is an ancient Indian burial ground in the cellar. Saten Twist phones, demanding to know why this wasn't mentioned. Only for the caller to say he mentioned it at least 5 times, Saten just wasn't listening.

Suddenly, the house goes on a rant about how they will all die. Trixie becomes outraged and yells at the house to shut up and show them some manners, and after a few moments, hurt by her words, the house complies. Saten and Glaze both comfort Trixie, who admits she's actually shaking from all her emotion.

Glaze, no longer afraid, annoys the house into making the walls bleed like before. The house telling her to, "leave me alone".

AppleJack, the kind soul she is, tries to reason they can live to together, but the house is needishly rude to her. This angers Saten, hinting a part of him may still have feeling for her, and he _"demands"_ they try to live together.

Trixie saying "yeah", and explains that since they are living in the house, the house is going to have to accept this. The house pauses and asks them to leave for a moment as it chooses what to do.

After considering Trixie's words, the house implodes into nothingness in a nod to _Poltergeist (1982)_.

AppleJack admits she can't help but feel "rejected".


End file.
